The dastardly Mr Deedes

Deposed Nissan chairman Carlos Ghosn’s arrest for understating his pay is met with incredulity in Lebanon where billboards declare ‘We are all Carlos Ghosn’. Ghosn is held in such esteem in his adopted homeland, many there hope he will run for the presidency one day. He ticks all the boxes: international profile, charisma, vast wealth. A corruption scandal is seen as the final piece of the necessary jigsaw. Maserati-driving ex-Sainsbury’s boss Justin King spoke to the BBC yesterday about his appointment to Marks and Spencer’s board. Interestingly, he entertained the idea of the retailer being split in two, a decision which by rights lies with chief executive Steve Rowe. Do we suspect swashbuckling Mr King hasn’t accepted a seat at the M&S table under auspices of being a mere ‘Yes’ man? From the supposedly cerebral Financial Times: ‘Mike Ashley is the plainspeaking business hero we need.’ There goes the paper’s Newcastle readership, such as it is. Italian economist Mariana Mazzucato appears on Desert Island Discs next week, a snooze-button event. She once served on loony tunes Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell’s business council. Incidentally, neither McDonnell nor Jeremy Corbyn have agreed to be castaways on the no-way-past-its-sell-by-date show. Radio 4’s Dead Ringers did an amusing skit with an impersonator imagining McDonnell as a guest selecting Dolly Parton’s jaunty 9 to 5, describing it as a ‘tragic account of a woman crushed by the capitalist patriarchy’. JCB tycoon Sir Anthony Bamford announces he’s awarded staff a £1,000 Christmas bonus. Grateful employee Jake Shakeshaft, 23, says: ‘I’m over the moon. It’s an amazing amount and I’ll be using it to pay for my holiday in the Dominican Republic.’ Jake’s previous high point came representing the UK in the 2016 Eurovision Song Contest. He finished next to last. Overheard in chi-chi Ivy Kensington, a snowflake scion of a famous banking dynasty asking her host: ‘Is it awful to order avocado? They say they fund Mexican drug cartels.’