Ephraim Hardcastle
DESERT Island Discs being voted the greatestever radio programme might help its producers lure a new royal castaway. Princess Margaret, Princess Michael of Kent, the Duchess of Kent and Princess Grace of Monaco have all been on – but will Charles, Camilla, William, Harry, Kate or Meghan ever be tempted? ‘Not while anti-monarchist Lauren Laverne is standing-in for Kirsty Young,’ a royal source opines. However, Ms Young is married to Nick Jones, founder of the Soho House private clubs. He’s a friend of Harry and Meghan. Conceivably he might swing Harry, William, Kate and Meghan onto DID. What musical delights might they choose? William likes Coldplay and Eminem, Harry favours Skream, Kate enthuses about Abba and Meghan snootily prefers the indie scene.
THE Duchess of Cambridge’s design for the Chelsea Flower Show – a Back To Nature garden – is much admired. But might the high treehouse, waterfall, stream, den, swings, campfire area and stepping stones attract the attention of health and safety officials? Treehouses higher than 30cm might need planning permission. Kate’s bird’s nest concept might need safety harnesses. A duchess can be forgiven for not troubling herself with such details.
TAKING aim at the Press in the Commons, Speaker John Bercow claims: ‘I’ve never been much preoccupied with the opinion of newspapers. I really don’t attach much weight to their views... it’s a matter of absolutely no interest or concern to me.’ If he says so. His wife Sally, pictured, famously posed naked for a newspaper, her modesty protected by a sheet.
THE Queen is said to have enjoyed A Very English Scandal, the BBC drama about Jeremy Thorpe. Will she savour the Corporation’s forthcoming series about the adulterous Margaret, Duchess of Argyll, who was said to have taken 88 lovers? An early Margaret conquest, before her first marriage, was HM’s uncle, Prince George, Duke of Kent.
RADIO 4’s PM show reported on a ‘body artist’ who pleaded guilty to causing GBH for carrying out procedures without proper training. The item might have intrigued PM’s host, Evan Davis. He was nicknamed ‘Tinsel T***’ after it was reported that his nipples were adorned by metallic decorations. Asked about them, he explained demurely: ‘I think it’s better to maintain an allure of mystery than to actually answer!’
THE BBC’s highly paid sports presenter Gary Lineker, 58, claims in a podcast that he turned into the path of an overtaking motorcyclist in Kensington, tipping him off his machine. ‘Thankfully, no oncoming traffic hit him,’ he adds. ‘He took off his helmet and went, “Gary! I don’t mind now!”’ Might the biker have been concussed?
FASHIONISTA Katharine Hamnett CBE defines style: ‘It’s the persona you present. It can be a lie, though. At the moment, people dress as lumberjacks when they work in IT.’