Don’t let Daly demean golf with a buggy at the Open
The year Tiger Woods returned to major tournament golf, the event was wickedly parodied by Saturday Night Live. Tina Fey played Ashlyn St Cloud, ‘Las Vegas area convention model and our new Tiger expert’, joining Nick Faldo and Jim Nantz presenting the US Masters. ‘hey, I’m Ashlyn St Cloud,’ she announces, ‘and if you get me in the bedroom I like to get looouud…’
What follows is the perfect takedown of CBS’s staid, respectful, hushed coverage, set against the reality of what the world by then knew was Woods’s life.
Whispering, Faldo opines Woods is ‘zeroed in thinking of one shot at a time’. St Cloud contradicts, saying he’s thinking about sex.
‘With all respect, Ashlyn,’ insists Faldo, ‘to compete at this level you have to focus entirely on the matter in hand.’
‘Well, maybe he would have to focus if he was playing a sport — like basketball or football,’ she replies. ‘But, come on, this is golf.’
Nantz is outraged. St Cloud points at Tom Watson. ‘how old is he?’ ‘he’s 60.’
‘And he could win, right?’ she continues. ‘If this was a real sport he’d be on a gurney. PS: if Asians and Indians can compete with black people, it’s not a sport.’
And on it goes, each line more riotously inappropriate than the last. But SNL were on to something. St Cloud’s view isn’t far removed from some perceptions of golf. Not just the snobbery and elitism, but the absence of athleticism, too.
Cynics look at old golfers, unfit golfers, and contrast that with the ever leaner, muscular physiques found in other sports. For years, golf’s authorities have battled this subjectivity and, with the latest generation of athletes, they appeared to be winning. And then they let John Daly, at 53, ride the US PGA on a buggy, smoking cigarettes and carrying a large soda cup from McDonald’s while shooting 11 over par.
That image could be presented at the Open in July, if the R&A allow him to do the same around Royal Portrush.
Daly’s application for a buggy is currently being reviewed, one hopes, out of a sense of care and politeness more than the will to make it happen. The arthritic knees that might otherwise prevent him competing are most unfortunate.
Anyone who has followed Daly’s career, however, will agree that lifestyle choices have not always left him in the best physical shape to be kind on load-bearing joints. Maybe Daly would have suffered arthritis anyway, even with the physique of Dustin Johnson. Golf takes it out of you like that, as Woods would acknowledge.
Nobody worked harder on his fitness than Woods — few ended up in worse condition, physically. Only a miracle operation has kept
the man playing into his 40s. At first it was thought he would never be able to swing a club again, not even for fun.
But never was it suggested Woods should receive artificial aid. Indeed, he was among the players most offended by the decision on Daly.
‘I walked with a broken leg,’ said Woods, referencing his triumph at the 2008 US Open, achieved with two lower leg fractures that he kept secret in the belief it might embolden his rivals. Oh, and a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee. Still, no buggy.
Woods knew the score. Injured, you can’t play. If you want to play and you’re injured, you limp.
It’s a sport. The athletic challenge is part of it. And yes, Ashlyn, there is one.
In 2001, the US Open went south for the first time in 24 years. The 1977 edition at Southern Hills Country Club in Tulsa, Oklahoma, had been a particularly torrid experience for the USGA. The temperature had risen to the extent the greens became close to unplayable. Landing was like trying to get a ball to stick on glass.
On the final day, players had to hold before their approach shot to allow the green to be watered, before being called through. The crowd were being regularly sprayed, too. Hubert Green, the leader, had received a death threat and was escorted around the final holes by a posse of armed US marshals.
At the tournament’s conclusion the rattled head of the USGA vowed he would never bring the competition south again.
That threat did not last and in 2001 Southern Hill hosted once more. The par five was a 653-yard monster, for many years the longest hole in major championship golf, and June in Oklahoma is hot.
Right there is the physical test of golf. Players might not carry their bags as amateurs do, but they are playing for considerably higher stakes and the concentration required is huge.
It is a long walk, in searing heat, while staying laser focused. And while that’s not running a marathon, or taking the full force of a tackle, there remains a vital athletic quality.
In 2001, the best British golfers were not known for their fitness. At Southern Hills, Darren Clarke finished 12 shots back, Colin Montgomerie 16, Lee Westwood missed the cut. Those near the top of the leaderboard were all lean. They had to be. This was golf as a physical contest and it has become more so since. One of the keys to the rise of Brooks Koepka is his emphasis on building physical strength. His fitness programme targets major tournaments and he has replaced fat with muscle to meet the challenge of huge hitters such as Johnson.
Yet this isn’t just about driving distance — modern golf is increasingly athletic.
AT BeTHPAGe BLACK, where Koepka won his fourth major on Sunday, those errant from the tee often had to play from tall fescue grass. Tall fescue is a bunchgrass with a deep root system. It is phenomenally hard to play through with a propensity to wrap itself around the club head, almost snatching the momentum from the player’s hands.
Time was, a player in the tall fescue accepted his fate and scrambled back the shortest distance to the fairway. A club handicapper would, but not these boys. If the lie and route to the target permit, they try to blast out. And that needs huge upper body strength.
It’s why the new generation look ripped, why Faldo — the real one, not Bill Hader on SNL — wryly
recalls the criticism he received for trying to build muscle nearly 30 years ago. Woods became so obsessed with physique, it is claimed he toyed with giving up golf to join the Navy Seals. Johnny Miller chopped so much wood he became musclebound.
So, this has been a long process and golf has worked very hard to shed its reputation as the refuge of fat, wealthy, old guys.
Then along comes Daly in a buggy with a large one from McDonald’s? Are they mad?
There was a very simple response to Daly’s request for assistance last week, had the PGA taken it. Buggies are not allowed for golfers around Bethpage’s black course. exceptions are made during tournaments for service workers and broadcast media — and without a buggy the 10th tee, where some of the rounds began, was a 40-minute hike from the clubhouse.
But if the PGA had decided to uphold Bethpage’s rule on the course itself, for the golfers, there could have been no complaints.
No buggies are permitted at Royal Portrush in Northern Ireland, either, where this summer’s Open will be held.
It is not discriminatory to expect professional competitors, therefore, to abide by the same rules as club members and guests.
The R&A, then, have a very straightforward way out and should take it for the sake of golf, its status and reputation.
Your physical ability to compete is the root of all sport, whether you sweat or not. Controlling the steadiness of a hand in archery, darts or snooker requires athletic ability. Nobody sweats but it’s still sport.
Golf is the same. ‘Walking is an integral part of being a professional golfer,’ said Faldo.
Anyone with a feeling for the soul of the game would agree.
even, by the sounds of it, Ashlyn St Cloud.