Ephraim Hardcastle
PRIME ministerial hopeful Michael Gove, whose leadership launch aimed to end questions on cocaine indulgence, faces a new lesser difficulty. A Stab In The Dark, a dismal 1992 Channel 4 series starring Gove and David Baddiel, pops up on YouTube. One episode features Michael rummaging through the dustbins of David Attenborough and Sting. In another there is an earnest discussion entitled: ‘Do tortoises fancy helmets?’ Friends of Gove point out that this was meant to be funny! SHARP intake of breath among Matt Hancock’s supporters at the launch of his leadership bid yesterday when David Davis, Dominic Raab’s key lieutenant, walked into the room. Was he defecting? No, he explained, he’d been downstairs at Raab’s anointment and discovered that Hancock was serving free refreshments. ‘I’m only here for the free coffee,’ explained the ex-Brexit secretary. NEXT month the Duchess of Cornwall launches Saga Cruises’ new ship Spirit of Discovery in Dover. Last time Camilla aimed a champagne bottle – at Cunard’s Queen Victoria in 2007 – it didn’t break, which is considered an ominous omen by sailors. On the ship’s second cruise from Southampton, some passengers fell ill with norovirus. Must try harder this time, Camilla. SCANT evidence of Prince Charles’s plan for a scaled-down Royal Family at Saturday’s overcrowded Buckingham Palace balcony after Trooping the Colour. There were three debuts – Princess Eugenie’s husband Jack Brooksbank, Lady Gabriella Windsor’s husband Tom Kingston and Prince Louis, pictured. The Queen apparently vetoed the first appearance of Harry and Meghan’s baby Archie on the basis of age, although HM did unveil Prince Edward aged just three months. PROFESSIONAL name dropper Gyles Brandreth recalls interviewing the Duke of Edinburgh when the Queen Mother celebrated her centenary in 2000, adding: ‘He told me then that he had “no desire whatsoever” to live to 100. “I can’t imagine anything worse,” he yelped. “Bits of me are falling off already.” Celebrating his 98th birthday yesterday, let’s hope Philip has changed his mind!’ THE BBC scrapping free TV licences for those aged 75 and over means that more than a dozen of the broadcaster’s stalwarts will now have to start paying. The list includes John Humphrys, John Craven, Sue MacGregor, Mary Berry, Tony Blackburn and Gloria Hunniford. At least Nicholas Parsons, at 95, will have had 20 years of free telly when the perk ends. SUMMING up the Tory leadership contest, comedian Michael Spicer tweets: ‘Rory Stewart: “I once stole a biscuit from a shop.” Jeremy Hunt: “I stole a packet of biscuits from a larger shop.” Boris Johnson: “I stole an assortment tin from a food bank on Christmas Eve.” Michael Gove: “I murdered the CEO of McVitie’s.”’