The one lesson I’ve learned from life
RACHAEL STIRLING, 42, has starred in Tipping The Velvet, detectorists and The Bletchley Circle. She lives in london with her husband guy garvey of the band elbow, and son Jack, two. her mother is diana Rigg.
AMBITION IS NOT A DIRTY WORD
I came to motherhood so late. I felt like an idiot. I had to turn to my friends with children and say: ‘Oh my God, this is what you were doing all along! I was messing about, getting drunk and falling over, and you were doing all of it and didn’t whinge to me. I’m full of admiration and sorry I never recognised it then.’
I met Guy at Benedict cumberbatch’s wedding. I’m not often starstruck, but my friend, Fleabag actor andrew Scott, said: ‘Why are you going all peculiar?’
Guy and I were with other people, so we were friends for a bit. When he was single he came to see me teaching literacy in a school. I made him sit on a tiny chair. Poor man. We had lunch with my mum. Her words to him were: ‘You’re brave.’
I panicked in my 20s and 30s about whether I was doing the right thing. I was an excited puppy, wanting to please people and feeling guilty that I’d had a privileged education and an acting career. I didn’t feel I had gravitas. I needed to get out of the industry, so I worked in a pub and taught for the Butterfly School in an area of London with lots of knife crime. It was hard but rewarding. When I came back to acting, I felt more sure of myself. Now I have this grounded husband who comes from the opposite of my background. He grew up as one of seven in a two-up two-down in Bury, Greater manchester. But we meet in the middle and I think: ‘OK, I’m all right.’
I love growing older. Normally I don’t bother with make-up. This face in the mirror is changing. I’ve got new lines from smiling at the sprog so much.
I used to worry about the lack of roles for women over 40. But suddenly everyone has realised it’s interesting to have a drama with a woman at the centre of it. at the moment I’m playing the judge Lady mary in Wild Bill. I’m Rob Lowe’s love interest and sparring partner.
‘ambitious’ is seen as a dirty word, especially when it comes to women. But what being ambitious actually means is to achieve distinction in your chosen field.
WILD Bill is on ITV on Wednesdays at 9pm. Rachael is also starring in Plenty at Chichester Festival Theatre until June 29 (cft.org.uk)