Gentle Jesus needs more of The X Factor

THIS vintage God rock, from two-time Bible botherers Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, has its enthusiastic disciples.

On my row was a lady who has seen this particular production (originally at Regent’s Park Open Air Theatre) three times. Another was paying her seventh visit. I watched a third throw her arms up in ecstasy at each chorus. I wish I’d had what she was having.

For me, it was an oddly flat evening. It’s a rough stage of iron girders, the ensemble whoosh around in flappy vests, and the raw, shouty singing sounds like it could do them significant damage.

It may have been a radical, protest-inducing operatic experiment in the Seventies, but now it has the whiff of a ‘cool priest’; an urban vicar who wears hoodies, sneakers and insists on calling everyone ‘mate’. Timothy Sheader’s production (a tried-and-tested hit that has bounced around theatres here and in the U.S) is doused in constant, gloopy, overly gestured Nineties boyband choreography. Jesus (Robert Tripolino) is a faintly feeble presence on stage.

The greatest cape: Samuel Buttery as King Herod

‘Too gentle,’ concedes the über- fan on my left. ‘Dweeb,’ corrected my friend to the right.

He had a belting pair of lungs, and did smash out some of the screechier tunes well, but there was no taste of superstar.

It says something about the calibre on stage that the much- needed charisma, stage presence and rock-star sparkle comes from 2010 X Factor winner Matt Cardle, who makes a terrific Pilate.

A thumpingly good band helped; and the late surprise of Herod recast as a glam-rock drag queen (a glorious Samuel Buttery in a stupidly long golden cape). But Jesus, Mary and Judas are very cold.

The show has a reputation for being a crowdpleaser (some here perhaps needed weening off it). But for every toe-tapping Hosanna and I Don’t Know How To Love Him, there is a double serving of musical sludge. Picture: JOHAN PERSSON