Extraordinary LIVES
HAVE you lost a relative or friend in recent months whose life you’d like to celebrate? our Friday column tells the stories of ordinary people who lived extraordinary
SPENCER, who had severe learning disabilities and was visually impaired, made an impact on all those who knew and cared for him. Though he was unable to speak, he had a great sense of humour and was such a character. Despite all the challenges he faced, he had a full and interesting life, learning to ride, enjoying music and being in the water on holidays abroad, and joining in family activities. He loved animals. The first time he tried horseriding, he needed to be held on, but before long he was riding without support, reaching up to touch the tree branches. He enjoyed playing ball. The local children were wary of him to begin with, but eventually, when his ball strayed, they would bring it back to him. Spencer enjoyed this interaction and if he didn’t appear in the
garden, the children would ask where he was. He was at home with us for most of his life, but for the past 11 years he lived in the village of Metheringham in Lincolnshire, interacting with the local community with support from his carers. He would visit his family at the weekend and his face would light up when he saw us. He led as normal a life as possible. I have to remind myself how difficult life must have been for Spencer — not being able to verbalise, perhaps his needs were not always being met. Together, we learned Makaton, adapted from British Sign Language, which allowed him to request basic things. He fell ill with a cough and cold at the beginning of November and died of community-acquired pneumonia in Lincoln County Hospital four days after his birthday. His family’s lives were enriched by Spencer’s presence and he is greatly missed by so many. His loss has left a great void in our lives. His courage was to be envied — the challenges that non-disabled people face were a mountain to Spencer. Maybe we should all walk a mile in his shoes.
SPENCER JOHN NEALE, born December 19, 1965; died December 23, 2018, aged 53.