Ephraim Hardcastle

PRINCE Andrew may end up losing other positions before the Jeffrey Epstein scandal is over. He was sacked as UK trade envoy by David Cameron in 2011 over his association with convicted paedophile Epstein. But he still holds prestigious titles including chancellor of Huddersfield University, and is patron of more than a dozen children’s organisations. However, Andrew may be able to help his own cause: he is an honorary detective with the California State Police. HAVE I Got News for You panellist Paul Merton defends his Irish grandfather’s membership of the IRA, as disclosed in Who Do You Think You Are?, telling Radio Times: ‘This was the old IRA. I think my mum would have taken the attitude that it was a long time ago and it was a different organisation then.’ As his grandad might have said, Tiocfaidh ar la (our day will come). PRIME Minister Boris Johnson’s squeeze Carrie Symonds supports naturalist Chris Packham’s anti-feline campaign to protect songbirds – 27million are killed by cats annually. Does that mean Downing Street cat Larry’s days are numbered? OLIVIA Colman’s portrayal of the Queen, pictured, in the third series of The Crown does not please archroyalist Charles Moore. Why? ‘She has a distinctly left-wing face,’ he muses, curiously admitting he has no idea what Olivia’s political views are, before adding: ‘I just have a hunch, which I hope will be proved wrong.’ DOES green princess Greta Thunberg, sailing on her two-week carbon-neutral voyage to New York, know how the boat that she’s on will get back to Europe? Owners Team Malizia are flying two of their team to the US to bring the yacht home. Can you make a carbon footprint in the sea? SENSITIVE soul Russell Crowe objects to a Twitter claim that Renee Zellweger, his wife in 2005’s Cinderella Man, objected to his bad breath and body odour, insisting: ‘Renee did not have a body double for kissing scenes. Utter horse s***.’ Stay upwind Renee! JACOB Rees-Mogg describes his ideal dinner party guests: ‘Boudicca, Alfred the Great, Henry V and [medieval hermit] Julian of Norwich.’ Adding: ‘To be modern, Disraeli and Queen Victoria.’ Surely the Honourable Member for the 18th century is having a giraffe. BBC cricket pundit Jonathan Agnew, asked to wear red at a Lord’s charity event, fetched up in a dark pink shirt, insisting it was the required crimson. His longsuffering wife Emma tweeted: ‘I told him it was raspberry pink, not red – but did he listen?!!!’ Email: john.mcentee@dailymail.co.uk