He had the breezy air of a butler dealing with downstairs staff
IN TRADITIONAL farce, rules dictate that the dramatis personae must exist in a constant state of misconstruction. Each attempt to clarify events brings only greater confusion. Befuddlement reigns supreme.
Down here in soggy Brighton, devotees of this richly comic genre would find a slew of material in steady supply.
Labour is hosting its autumn conference and that thorniest of issues, Brexit, is once again proving capable – like some abominable parasite – of eating a party from within.
The leading man in this bumbling scenario, Jeremy Corbyn, now suggests – in a rather obfuscatory way – that leaving the European Union might not be so bad after all.
Two of his senior Kommandants, deputy Tom Watson and foreign affairs spokesman Emily Thornberry, say otherwise. Some of the more brutish forces within the movement now want them sacked. It’s a ripe old mess.
Mr Corbyn submitted himself to an interview yesterday morning at Andrew Marr’s makeshift studios. He was asked about plans that Labour’s National Executive Committee had hatched over the weekend to abolish the post of deputy leader, which would have removed Watson from power.
In the background, dark thunderclouds loomed. Just as Corbyn began to speak, Parliament’s notorious ‘ Stop Brexit’ berk went into full cry. Yes, he’s made the journey down from London too, I’m afraid.
The Labour leader was distinctly nonplussed by the failed putsch against his deputy.
Sure, he’d heard rumblings about the Watson affair, but it was a non- starter from the getgo. He was asked about a leaked memo in the morning sees a farce unfold at Labour’s conference papers from Andrew Fisher, one of his senior aides, who is quitting, citing a ‘lack of professionalism, competence and human decency’ among the leader’s inner circle.
Once again, Corbyn dismissed the story with the breezy air of a butler dealing with minor ructions among the downstairs staff. A trifling matter, he informed his host. No doubt poisonous diatribes circulate among staff of the Andrew Marr Show. ‘ I don’t think so,’ scoffed Mr Marr defensively. At lunchtime, Watson made an appearance at a Labour Movement for Europe fringe event in the Odeon cinema. Dressed casually in a lumberjack shirt, he issued a slightly half-hearted riposte to those trying to boot him out of office. ‘ I’m a Remainer,’ he announced. ‘And I’m remaining!’
Thornberry was there, too. She arrived late, possibly as, moments earlier, Unite union charmer Len McClusky had called for her to be dismissed as well.
She reiterated her stance that, if Labour endorsed any form of
‘She does love a good shout’
Brexit, it would play right into the Liberal Democrats’ hands.
‘They’ll be Morris dancing in their sandals,’ she trilled. As she left the cinema, she was pursued doggedly by a television crew asking about McClusky’s comments. ‘I luuuv Len,’ she remarked dismissively, her voice haughtier than a dressage instructor. Thornbug’s a menace – but I do like her.
Over in the main conference centre, we heard from Angela Rayner, who was sporting a glossy new hairdo. Aslan the Lion would be proud of such a mane.
Hers is not a soothing timbre, but, what Labour’s education spokesman lacks in eloquence, she makes up for in passion. She does love a good shout.
She announced that one of Labour’s first acts in power would be get to get rid of Ofsted.
Corbyn had already hogged this announcement for himself on Marr’s show earlier. His main criticism was that Ofsted ‘turn up every few years, or sometimes more frequently than that, and do an exercise on that school and then make decision about it,’ which sounded an awful lot like an inspectorate doing what it was supposed to do.
Diane Abbott appeared in the afternoon to give a speech about Home Affairs. It was turgid, plodding stuff. The audience gave her several standing ovations, but you got the feeling they were propping her up.
Today, we’ll hear from shadow chancellor John McDonnell, an arch-Remainer not particularly prone to keeping his opinions to himself. Goody.
Farce can be hard to watch at times. But curiosity demands you simply can’t stop watching.