Is it just ME?

Or is it excruciating that no one listens to voicemails?

With a voice you can peg the mood of the caller — not so with a text

IT’S a drizzly afternoon and I’m stuck in a London mall waiting for my eldest son. Since I live in Manchester, this is not my usual turf and I’ve arrived earlier than I thought.

I relay all this to voicemail. Moments later, he calls: ‘Hi mum, you there yet?’

When I ask if he’s listened to my message, his withering reply is full of pity. ‘Nobody listens to voicemail any more Mum. I can’t believe you left one.’

Neither can I. Since it’s not the first time this has happened. A fact which drives me crazy. Not only with my four children, but with friends, colleagues, even people I want to pay (yes, Mr Plumber, I’m talking to you).

It seems that our already goldfish-like attention span has diminished even further. We just can’t be bothered to listen. Even when someone has gone to the trouble of leaving a message. As well as being rude, frankly, it’s depressing. On the one hand, we baulk at our automated culture (chatbots, self-service tills); yet on the other, when we do something human, we remain unheard.

And it’s our loss. Language has many shades of meaning, while delivery can be so nuanced. With a human voice, you can immediately peg the mood of the caller, something lost in translation in a text.

There are those who say voicemail is no longer pragmatic, that it encourages people to waffle. But is it any less time-wasting to have to repeat yourself because someone didn’t play the message?

I love listening to voicemail. The warm familiarity of a loved one or the bonus prize of an added joke saucing the narrative.

It’s what makes us human. I wish more people would understand that.

Or maybe they just didn’t get the message.