Ephraim Hardcastle
SAVOURING her last few days at Balmoral, the Queen remains serenely silent on Downing Street spin suggesting that Boris Johnson actually said sorry to her for persuading her to illegally prorogue Parliament. Palace sources indicate that in the PM’s telephone conversation with HM he was apologetic over the Supreme Court ruling. There was no mea culpa. For Boris sorry was the hardest word.
LADY Glenconner’s memoirs refer to Princess Margaret’s enthusiasm for picnics, but not the copious amounts of alcohol that the Queen’s sister always brought along, together with hampers of fine china, cutlery and glassware and staff to serve salmon mousse, salads, cold meats and cheeses. ‘In my opinion picnics should always be eaten up at table, sitting on a chair,’ she declared.
PRINCESS Beatrice’s wedding provides an opportunity for her mother Fergie, pictured, to shine. Under new rules governing wedding certificates a mother’s details will be included. Under ‘rank or profession’ will Sarah go for author, businesswoman, professor (she’s a professor of philanthrepreneurship at Huddersfield University), Duchess of York or Princess of the United Kingdom? As she once said, ‘I’m a complete aristocrat. Love that, don’t you? I love it. It’s tremendously fabulous.’
LIFE doesn’t imitate art in the case of EastEnders’ Adam Woodyatt and Death in Paradise’s Elizabeth Bourgine, who have been eliminated from the BBC’s Celebrity MasterChef. Embarrassingly, they portray accomplished cooks in their respective drama shows.
BBC viewers will see Ian Hislop dance like Fred Astaire in his forthcoming Fake News: A True Story. ‘As you can see I am now ready for Strictly,’ he says. Hislop credits visual artist Eric Drass, who explains: ‘This is created using a piece of software which learns your face known as Deep Fake, generally used for pornographic clips. You take the face of a famous actress and you map it into the body of a pornographic star and you send it out as a secret sex tape!’
PRINCE Edward will not thank celebrity chef Aldo Zilli for reminding him of being locked in his Soho restaurant when the prince was working for Andrew Lloyd Webber. Zilli explains: ‘I went downstairs to the basement to party with my friends and I forgot that he was upstairs having dinner so at about 1.30am I get a tap on the shoulder. He said, “Would you mind opening the door for us?” I said, “******* hell, I’m glad you didn’t call your mum.”’
CHINESE TV chef Ching He Haung provided doggy bags for the Duke and Duchess of Cornwall after she entertained them to a meal in Chinatown, saying: ‘Prince Charles loved my Oriental moon cakes so much he asked for them and some dumplings for Camilla as a takeaway!’