The one lesson I’ve learned from life

Anton du Beke

Anton, 53, is the only professional dancer to have remained on Strictly Come Dancing since the first series in 2004. he and his wife, hannah, live in Buckinghamshire with their two-year-old twins, george and henrietta.

DON’T BLAME ANYONE BUT YOURSELF

aT 16, I started entering dance competitions. That’s when a man called Bill Mitchell came into my life. he was an old-style coach, an east ender cast in the same mould as len Goodman.

One day, Bill watched me dance in a contest and we got chatting afterwards. I told him I thought my partner and I had been rubbish, and he told me he thought I’d been too hesitant.

That threw me a bit, but it made me think. I decided to go to him once a week for a class — and I continued doing so for the next 25 years. he died five years before Strictly began. each weekend, I’d enter a dance competition with a partner, and every week he’d ask me how I’d got on.

each time, I had an excuse for not winning. I’d blame the floor for being rough and uneven. Or say my suit was too tight. he’d just nod sagely. But then came the day when I said I’d have done better if my partner had got her steps right. Which is when he snapped.

he pointed his index finger right in my face. ‘You,’ he said, ‘need to move her better.’ and, with that, he took hold of the girl, danced her round the room and delivered her back to me. ‘nothing wrong with her,’ he said. ‘It’s you. You’ve just got to get better.’

That really floored me. But quite quickly I realised he was right. Instead of blaming everyone and everything else — the floor, the girl, the suit — the solution lay within me.

‘You control you,’ he said. and then he repeated: ‘ Get better.’ It was very simple, very direct. But he was spot on.

The floor was the same for everyone. So was the band; so were the judges. ‘If you don’t like your routine,’ said Bill, ‘change it.’

In today’s parlance, it would be: Own it. You’re in charge of your own life.

That’s something my hero, Bruce forsyth, exemplified. Get better. Simple as that. I’m still working on it.

Moonlight over Mayfair by Anton Du Beke (£18.99, Zaffre) is out october 17. Also in eBook and audio.