Ephraim Hardcastle
LUCIAN Freud’s new Royal Academy exhibition, an easel’s throw from the fashionable Wolseley restaurant, prompts his chum Andrew Parker Bowles to recall a lunch there shortly before his death. Irked by an American taking photographs, Freud scored a direct hit with a bread roll he threw at his tormentor. Says Andrew: ‘The American complained to the manager, who told him, “I’m terribly sorry but Mr Freud is allowed to do that”.’ WHEN the Queen departs for Westminster on Monday, Tory MP Stuart Andrew – as Vice Chamberlain of the Royal Household – will be held hostage at Buckingham Palace until her safe return. In his prime, Prince Philip warned the imprisoned MP that if HM was somehow detained he would be shot. Andrew will be hoping Extinction Rebellion crusties are co-operating on The Mall. JOKING about Extinction Rebellion, BBC Radio 4’s Today programme sports presenter Garry Richardson tells listeners: ‘I was fined £60 for straying into a bus lane for five seconds... I thought I’d go to Oxford Circus and lie down for four hours today and get my money’s worth.’ SUPPOSEDLY impartial Sky News political editor Beth Rigby, pictured, urges MPs to take control and dispose of Boris ‘should he refuse to sanction a Brexit extension’. Her blatantly biased view on Sky’s website is not prohibited by the Ofcom Broadcasting Code – unlike opinions spouted by Laura Kuenssberg, her BBC counterpart. LAUNCHING Charles Moore’s final Thatcher volume, Boris recalled meeting her after he became London Mayor. She implored: ‘Someone has got to get rid of that dreadful man, Ken Livingstone. ‘I was too modest,’ admitted Boris, ‘to tell her I just had.’ SHOULD Harriet Harman succeed John Bercow, she’ll have hardly found the fourposter in the palatial grace-and-favour Speaker’s House before she’s turfed out. It is earmarked for early closure as part of the multi-billion pound Westminster refurbishment. Favourite as a replacement billet is St James’s Palace. Hatty might yet win the housing lottery. CAR park tycoon Donald Gosling helped pay for the restoration of Prince Charles’s favourite boltholes: The Castle of Mey and Dumfries House. So it’s no surprise HRH is an expected mourner at his Westminster Abbey memorial service in December. Gosling, who died last month aged 90, also forked out for the late Queen Mother’s gambling debts. But then, he was a royal mate worth £500million. FAMOUSLY tightfisted Rod Stewart was stunned by friend Elton John’s Christmas present: ‘A Rembrandt!’ he exclaimed. ‘A drawing – The Adoration Of The Shepherds. A f*****g Rembrandt!’ And Rod’s gift to Elt? A £300 portable fridge.