I’m a huge admirer of Harry . . . but, sorry, those tears were out of place
From the Mail’s Mind Doctor, who has supported the Prince on mental health awareness, a provocative personal view
BY SPEAKING so openly about his struggles with mental health following the death of his mother Diana, prince Harry has achieved more in a couple of years than decades of campaigning ever could.
Those of us who work in this field owe him, his brother William and sister-in-law kate an enormous debt for taking one of the least glamorous and most neglected health issues and making it ‘Ok’ to admit to problems.
Their stance has inspired tens of thousands to seek help. so i am a devoted Harry fan.
However, when i watched the clip of him struggling to hold back tears at the WellChild awards in London on Tuesday night, i felt uneasy. i think he got it wrong on this occasion.
These awards are about celebrating seriously ill children, their families and their carers, but his words were all about him.
Last year at the same awards, he revealed on Tuesday, he and his wife Meghan ‘knew we were expecting our first child . . . and i remember squeezing Meghan’s hand so tight during the awards, both of us thinking what it would be like to be parents one day, and more so, what it would be like to do everything we could to protect and help our child should they be born with immediate challenges or become unwell over time’.
He continued: ‘now as parents, being here speaking to all of you, pulls at my heart strings in a way i could never have understood until i had a child of my own.’
By breaking down while talking about his own experiences as a new father, he ‘colonised’ the event — he made it about him, rather than the people in the audience.
SUDDENLY, the spotlight swung away from them and their day- to- day struggles to a man — a member of the Royal Family, no less — who was essentially shedding tears about his own worries.
Surely he could see that his anxieties pale into insignificance when compared with those of the families he was there to meet? it was an uncharacteristic faux pas from someone who typically gets the mood music just right.
Prince Harry is a remarkable man who knows he is subject to intense scrutiny. and yet, on the whole, he manages this with grace and dignity. At least, that is my experience of him.
A few years ago, I was presenting at an awards ceremony for a mental health charity where he gave the keynote speech.
Later, he shared the stage with a young woman who had suffered with mental health problems and who had won an award. she was clearly nervous, and I saw him gently guide her towards the microphone. The prince stood close and nodded encouragement as she made a spontaneous speech to the 1,000-strong audience.
She relaxed and seemed to grow in confidence, and it was entirely thanks to him and his empathy.
During a lull in the schedule, Harry remained at her side, laughing and joking with her as though they were old friends. it occurred to me then how remarkable it is to have been born into such privilege, but to be able to connect with people so intensely and instantly.
Prince Harry has an incredible skill in being able to put others at ease. He is a real credit to the Royal Family — able to muster just the right balance of grandeur and occasion. But the WellChild awards were different. This was a celebration of sick children and their families, and a recognition of their achievements and fortitude.
As a former army officer, Harry should have been able to master his feelings.
In my work as a psychiatrist, i spend my days encouraging people to talk openly, but public displays of emotion like this smack of attention- seeking. Crying is a form of communication, but it has its limits; far better to use words.
And then the people who really mattered that night would have remained the focus — which i am sure, deep down, is what Harry would have wanted anyway.