Steer clear of Gyles’s advice!
CAMPAIGN ADVICE OF THE WEEK: Onetime Conservative MP Gyles Brandreth, whose daughter Aphra is standing in Kingston and Surbiton, recalls he was told by Tory grandee Sir Jack Temple in 1992: ‘Put a rug on the bonnet of your motor. Sit on the rug and get your driver
OH DEAR. Jeremy Corbyn’s visit to Ashfield, a marginal Labour-held constituency in the East Midlands, has had an unintended impact.
A party source tells me: ‘We’re now getting trounced behind the Brexit Party and even a local independent.
‘Labour is finished here thanks to the Islington Trot takeover.’
CARRIE SYMONDS, Boris Johnson’s partner, has been doing a good job winning celebrity endorsements for the Conservatives. After she praised the environmental credentials of Richmond Park’s Zac Goldsmith, former England cricketer Kevin Pietersen replied: ‘100% Back Zac’. No wonder she’s known as a communications whizz.’
Caroline luCas, the only Green Party MP, is offering to bake a cake for anyone who gives £50 to her re-election fund to Brighton Pavilion. a £150 donation gets you a guided tour of the Commons, while £250 secures lunch with her. sorry, Caroline, but i’d pay that much to avoid lunch with a veggie politician who’s called for a tax on burgers and sausages in a bid to combat climate change. to drive around the constituency at a steady pace — slow enough to be seen, but not so slow that voters can run alongside asking damn-fool questions.’ Brandreth was voted out after one term in Chester: perhaps the road safety lobby put a halt to his unconventional technique. newly retired from Parliament, cigar-smoking, jazz-loving former Chancellor Ken Clarke is regarded by many as the best Tory Prime Minister Britain never had. Clarke, 79, chuckles: ‘it’s a great club to belong to as no one will ever know how bad you’d have been if given the chance.’
VILE BULLIES OF THE WEEK: Iain Duncan Smith, who’s been advised to have a police bodyguard on Election Day, reveals his office has been sent a ‘decomposed rat’ as well as suffering ‘ violent abuse’ and ‘smear tactics’.
The former Tory leader rightly adds that it’s unacceptable for his campaign volunteers to face such despicable ‘ acts of intimidation’. For their contempt of democracy, Labour’s idiotic activists should be ashamed of themselves.
BBC sports presenter Gabby Logan has confessed to being irritated by LibDem leader Jo Swinson after she heard her say ‘you know’ 18 times in the space of a few minutes. ‘Once you zone into someone’s “tic”,’ says Logan, ‘it is so hard to ignore it . . . You know what I mean?’ You know what, Gabby? I whole-heartedly agree.