Jack Spratt’s the way to do it. Oh yes it is!
1 This year, the range of celebrities acting in panto has never been greater. At the Birmingham hippodrome, Joan Collins is playing Cinderella opposite TV’s Richard Dawkins (Buttons) and Professor Mary Beard (Baron hardup).
2 Following a disappointing result in the general Election, labour leader Jeremy Corbyn at least has the consolation of being cast as Jack spratt in Mother goose in leatherhead this year.
‘i have always insisted that any character i play should eat no meat whatsoever, and this was what first attracted me to Jack spratt,’ said Corbyn, n, in a break from rehearsals als yesterday. 3 in ThE same production, Ann widdecombe is Mrs spratt. she regards it as a ‘ fascinating departure’ from m her previous s roles in pantomime. ‘i am often n cast as a bossy sys old woman,’ she heh says, ‘ but Mrs spratt isn’t bossy at all. she just knows what she wants, and is determined to get it. so don’t you dare call her bossy! Frankly, i’ve just about had enough of this.’ 4 in ThE guinness Book of Records, the shortest ever pantomime is recorded as being Treasure island at Bury st Edmunds in 1983, which finished in under three hours 20 minutes.
‘of course, some of the children were bitterly disappointed,’ says theatre manager sue Rumbold. ‘They expect to be entertained for at least seven or eight hours, with ice- creams and sweeties on the hour, every hour. But many of the parents were very grateful. one of our customers said it was the first time he had ever been to a pantomime where there was no need for a quick shave in the interval.’ 5 FAshions in pantomimes come and go. with the rise of ‘kitchensink’ drama in the Fifties, many theatres decided to eschew brightly coloured costumes, merry chorus lines, filthy innuendos and outrageous pantomime dames for something closer to the gritty reality of life in contemporary Britain.
Accordingly, the Theatre Royal, windsor staged look Back in Anger with leslie Crowther and Peter glaze from TV’s Crackerjack, and the Yvonne Arnaud
Theatre, guildford, staged a new version of The loneliness of The long Distance Runner, with Freddy ‘Parrot-Face’ Davies in the leading role. 6 ThE only British Prime Minister ever to have played a season in pantomime was Tony Blair, who took the title role of Jack And The Beanstalk at the london Palladium in 2008, a year after leaving office.
in his memoir, A Journey, he devotes only a couple of paragraphs to this period. ‘The question was always what to do about the giant, who, in my view, was a very real threat. Many of the rest of the cast felt the giant was a problem that would simply go away if they ignored it. ‘But i felt that his continued presence in the theatre represented a clear and present danger. And that is why i took the decision to destroy the giant, his Beanstalk and his entire regime of dancers, acrobats and comedians with all the force at m my disposal. ‘of course, i understand why the theatre management was upset that their pantomime had been forced to close after only one show. But, given the circumstances, i am sure i did the right thing. And i would do it again, given half the chance.’
Following this admission, the management of the haymarket Theatre in leicester announced that they were cancelling Mr Blair’s booking as Aladdin the following year. 7 hisToRiAns are divided over the origins of the pantomime chant: ‘it’s behind you!’ Professor Mary Beard believes the words were first spoken by Brutus on the ides of March, while Dr David starkey is equally sure that they derive from the execution of Anne Boleyn: apparently these were intended as words of comfort from her executioner as he took aim. 8 ThE Annual general Meeting of the Pantomime Association generally takes four-and-a-half hours, with two intervals. Towards the end, the Chairman’s statement unfurls from the ceiling, and everyone sings along to the words. on the way home, half the shareholders are in tears, because they weren’t allowed a second icecream, and they’re a bit tired.