A riotous night with Dame Edna — and some very undazzling stars
Dame Edna Rules The Waves HHHHI The Graham Norton Show HHHII
THESE people all have one thing in common: Lauren Bacall, Roger Moore, Ursula Andress, Rudolf Nureyev, Ted Heath, Liza Minnelli, Tony Curtis, Jerry Hall, Sean Connery and Zsa Zsa Gabor. And Joan Rivers. And Dusty Springfield. Oh, and Cliff Richard.
Actually, we can’t really count Cliff because he was ejected mid-interview for being insufficiently famous. But the rest were all favoured guests on Dame Edna Everage’s chat show in the 1980s.
The original Housewife Superstar retired in 2015, after a farewell tour, and has lived in near seclusion with her untold wealth ever since — only rarely venturing back into the public eye, for instance on the Today programme last September to mark the departure of John Humphrys.
So if she was ever going to revive her wonderful show, with its withering celebrity put-downs and shameless self- promotion, you could be sure her guests would be starrier than ever. Barack and Michelle Obama, at the very least . . . a duet from Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga . . . and would it be too much to hope for a glimpse of Meghan?
Apparently, yes, much too much. As the Aussie empress returned for a one-off special, Dame Edna Rules The Waves (BBC1), the biggest name was Sharon Osbourne, the erstwhile X Factor judge and devotee of the plastic surgeon’s knife.
‘Of course I recognise you,’ Edna said, ‘but you’ve been to the panel beaters a few times.’
Sharon shared a sofa with ‘Judge’ Rob Rinder, foodie Rick Stein, actress Emily Atack from 2018’s I’m A Celebrity and Countryfile’s Anita Rani. That line-up would look lacklustre on Celebrity Pointless. For the resurrection of one of the funniest comic characters ever to reign on TV, it was weaker than non-alcoholic prosecco.
I can only guess this was part of Barry Humphries’ masterplan. He knew he could command any star to dance attendance on his creation: Elton, Macca, even The Donald would come running. More fun, perhaps, to lay claim to primetime on BBC1, on one of the biggest nights of the year, and serve up a tapas of lukewarm nonentities.
In every other respect, the show was unchanged from its heyday more than 30 years ago. The set was identical, apart from the portholes: the Dame was on her superyacht, the Ocean Widow, sailing shark-infested waters to deter the taxman.
She greeted the audience with the traditional shriek of, ‘Hello, possums!’ and even the house band was still under the baton of Laurie Holloway. Only the silently miserable figure slumped at her side was different. Emily Perry, who played Dame Edna’s longtime companion, Madge Allsop, died at the age of 100 in 2008.
As Edna put it, she ‘carked it’ — a brutal bit of Australian slang. Madge’s wrinkles became so bad, she explained, that eventually they joined up and she became ruched. Then it was curtains.
At this point I was laughing so much, Edna could have introduced two gerbils on a wheel and I’d have still felt entertained.
Much bigger stars arrived for The Graham Norton Show (BBC1), including Hollywood’s Tom Hanks. Actor Stephen Graham, Spice Girl Mel C and world heavyweight champion Anthony Joshua swelled the ranks.
Norton can attract real talents, coax great stories from them and keep control when they get feisty: Hanks fancied chairing the show himself, but the host kept reeling him in.
Still, the question is, would we watch if he had nothing better to offer than Judge Rinder and Emily Atack? Of course we wouldn’t. Dame Edna wins again.