Proof being a teen mum doesn’t have to wreck your life
Rachael was 14 when she got pregnant. Now she’s got a psychology degree and her inspiring story is helping others
AS She waited to receive her degree certificate, 21- year- old Rachael Campey quickly scanned the packed auditorium, searching out the faces of her loved ones.
Standing tall in her cap and gown, she could see her mum, Julie, and grandad, Peter, in the front row of the graduation hall at leeds Trinity University, bursting with pride.
But it was the excited little girl sitting with them — furiously waving and beaming from ear to ear — that Rachael most wanted to impress.
And as she stepped up onto the stage, a small voice suddenly rang out, very loud and clear: ‘That’s my mummy!’
‘That’s when i finally thought, “yes, i do deserve to be a mum”,’ says Rachael. ‘The tears just started and i realised, for the first time in my life, that i was good enough. i’d spent so many years questioning myself, feeling judged, but i felt i’d made my daughter proud.’
Pregnant at 14, Rachael thought her education was over when she was kicked out of school. Just 15 when lily-Rose, who is now six, was born in October 2013, she despaired of being a good role model to her child.
Back then, no one, not even her own parents, ever imagined she would be among the 150 students to graduate from leeds Trinity last year. Nor could anyone have predicted that the story of this schoolgirl mum would go viral, as it did when she shared it on social media.
Posting a picture of herself and her daughter holding hands at her graduation, next to a photograph of her teenage self holding lily-Rose as a newborn, Rachael wrote: ‘When i found out i was pregnant with you at 14, i promised i would work non-stop to give you the best childhood i could.
‘7/8 education systems later, countless jobs and everything life could possibly throw at us. Today i graduated at 21 with my six-year-old by my side.’ NOW
working part-time for an under-25 mental health website, commissioned by the NhS, Rachael, who has a degree in counselling psychology, is considering doing a masters.
‘i remember going to get my cap and gown, seeing all the other graduates, and it felt like a dream. lily-Rose said, “you look like harry Potter. Are you off to hogwarts?” ’
lily-Rose is a confident, talkative, imaginative child, who wants to grow up to be just like her mummy. Or maybe her other hero, eddie the eagle, the former British Olympic ski-jumper, who never gave up on his dream, either.
‘My mum is magic like harry Potter,’ she says, ‘ she can turn everyone into frogs!’ Not quite, but Rachael’s story is perhaps just as remarkable — although she really wouldn’t recommend the journey she has taken to anyone else.
The only child of a fast-food restaurant manager father, now aged 54, and a mother, 50, who worked in a call centre, Rachael grew up in one of leeds’s most deprived areas. She was two when her father fell ill with a long-term medical condition, and from an early age was a young carer.
A vulnerable and anxious child, she says she became an easy target for bullies when she moved to age secondary of 11 was school, attacked and verbally, from the physically and on social media.
Suicidally depressed by the age of 12 and anorexic at 13, her worried parents sought help from Child and Adolescent Mental health Services (CAMhS) and Rachael spent long spells off school or in hospital. To her parents’ dismay, aged 14, she accidentally fell pregnant by her 15-year-old boyfriend. ‘i refused to even consider a termination. in no way am i an advocate for teen pregnancy. i’m actually pro-choice when it comes to abortion. For some people, it is the right decision, but it felt wrong for me,’ says Rachael. ‘Once my family could see how adamant i was, they supported me, and i don’t know what i would have done without them. ‘lily-Rose gave me a reason to be alive and, if i hadn’t had her, i really don’t think i’d be here today. She is the light of my life.’ Rachael’s mum; an aunt, who is a midwife; and lily-Rose’s dad were all present for the birth at St James’s University hospital in leeds. At that time, the teenage parents thought they could make a go of it as a family.
‘holding lily-Rose for the first time, i was just overcome with emotion. i knew i had to do everything to make her life as good as possible,’ says Rachael. it was then that she set a goal to win a place at university.
Rachael and her boyfriend split just three weeks after lily-Rose’s birth. he later moved away with his family and has had no contact with his daughter since then.
After lily-Rose’s birth, Rachael was home- schooled before she enrolled at a 14-plus apprenticeship academy. While her daughter was at nursery, Rachael studied for her GCSes, passing three. She later went to york College, where she got enough qualifications to enable her to apply to leeds Trinity.
‘it’s been really tough getting there with a young child. i’ve had to learn to survive on just a few hours of sleep a night, studying whenever lily-Rose was napping during the day or in bed at night.
‘But i never felt i was missing out on the normal teen life. From the moment lily-Rose was born, i became very career-orientated.’
however, shortly after lily-Rose’s birth, Rachael discovered her old school bullies had set up a social media hate group to attack her.
‘They said i deserved to be dead, and didn’t deserve to be a mum. That’s something that stayed with me until the day i graduated,’ says Rachael.
Rachael’s parents split up three years ago, but she remains close to her father, who was too unwell to attend her graduation.
‘When i first went to university, i didn’t tell the other students i had a daughter, because when i say how old she is, you can see people doing a mental calculation,’ says Rachael.
‘As i’ve learned to trust people, i have become more open, and no one at university has judged me.’
She supported herself through university by working as a waitress while also volunteering at a crisis helpline.
looking back at the nervous teen mum she once was, Rachael can’t believe how confident she now feels as a graduate mental health worker and campaigner, much in demand as a public speaker at conferences.
She says, ‘ For someone who used to suffer panic attacks, it’s overwhelming to think i can now speak publicly in front of hundreds of people. My mum is so proud of me. i think there were many times when she didn’t think i’d ever make it, even though she kept telling me i could.’
Rachael has been nominated for the inspirational individual gong in the yorkshire Choice 2020 Awards, for her work in mental health support, and she is brimming with ideas for books and documentaries.
‘i want young girls to know they can achieve the career they want, even when things go wrong. it might take them a few years, but they can get there in the end,’ she says.
Rachael, who is single and says she doesn’t particularly want more children, says: ‘ The best part of being a mum is knowing that i have lily-Rose in my life.
‘i want her to be happy and to know that hard work will take you places. And i would like her to have my determination.
‘i just don’t want her repeating my childhood — i hope i’ve broken that cycle.’