Hyacinth was such a blooming nuisance
While working in a travel agency, i had occasion to book a world cruise aboard Queen elizabeth 2 for a husband and wife who had proved to be more than a little difficult to deal with. it was customary for the agency to provide a complimentary chauffeurdriven car to pick up passengers from their home and take them to the dock on embarkation day. On the afternoon of the same day they joined the ship, i received a terse email from the wife complaining that they were not happy with the arrangements i had made; that she was too upset to go into it — and would be speaking to me on their return. Three months later, having travelled the world in the lap of luxury, and on the afternoon of the very day the ship docked in Southampton, the couple came into the shop. Not knowing what the problem had been, but suspecting the worst because whatever it was, it had been preying on their minds as they travelled the globe in the comfort of the world’s most famous cruise liner — wining and dining on caviar, lobster and champagne — i took them into a small private office and nervously inquired as to what had gone wrong. ‘Well,’ said she (it was usually she who did most of the speaking), ‘we were absolutely appalled when the car arrived to take us to Southampton — to see that our chauffeur was
wearing a cap!’ i apologised, explained that it was not customary for our drivers to wear caps, and asked what main problem had prompted her complaint from the ship on sailing day. ‘That was it,’ madam replied. ‘it just got the whole thing off to a very bad start!’ Biting my tongue, i again apologised — trying not to show exactly what i thought of their petty, unwarranted complaint, and walked with them to the door. To my further astonishment, as they left, the woman turned and snapped: ‘Oh yes — another thing. Please make a note not to send flowers when we return from a trip — the last thing i need to deal with when i get home exhausted from travelling is having to arrange flowers!’ hyacinth Bucket had nothing on her!
Robert (Bob) Readman, Bournemouth, Dorset.