CAN THEY MAKE IT WORK?
Two of the Mail’s star female columnists on the royal couple’s new life in Canada
I worry that, unplugged from his structured life, Harry will lose his way
This, in some respects, feels like the perfect fairytale ending: handsome Prince gives up his title and his home for the woman he adores, and in so doing discovers the true meaning of love.
Off they sail into the sunset, happy ever after. Or will it be?
That is the $64,000 — or multi-million dollar, if projections about the earning potential of the new suss(ex) Royal brand are anything to go by — question.
how will they — and perhaps more importantly their relationship — adapt to the new reality?
When i say reality, i don’t, of course, mean the one that you and i live in.
Even without the trappings of royalty, harry and Meghan will still enjoy a rarefied existence in the upper echelons of society, or certainly the stellar end of it.
They will still have staff and security, and i doubt whether either of them will ever find themselves queuing for a bus or hanging out their own washing anytime soon.
But while their new freedom will finally liberate them from their apparently excruciating existence as working royals, it will also throw up challenges of its own.
The principal question, it seems to me, concerns harry.
Because while it is undoubtedly the case that he has long wanted to escape the Royal limelight, the truth is that this life is all he has ever known.
For all that he may despair of the limitations and obligations it imposes on him, it has also afforded him a clear framework from which to operate.
That is not to be underestimated.
FOR
harry, damaged as a boy by the tragedy that befell his mother, is a man who needs stability and structure. That is why he thrived in the Army: that discipline allowed him to control his emotions, to channel his anger and trauma in a constructive manner.
it was, in many ways, the making of him. That is why it came as such a surprise — to me at least — that he would renounce even his beloved military obligations in the ‘divorce’ settlement. The statement from the Queen was clear: ‘ As agreed in this new arrangement, they understand that they are required to step back from Royal duties, including official military appointments.’
As much as harry may want this new and more private life in North America, that surely will be a wrench.
Either way, being a working royal was in many ways a continuation of life in the military: scaffolded by protocol, his days were mapped out for him long in advance.
Whatever else he may have lacked, it was certainly never purpose.
That is gone now. Unplugged from his role as an official royal, his existence as just another A-list celebrity will be totally unstructured.
At first that will seem like a great liberation, a source of excitement. Besides, things will be busy, frantic even, putting in place all the arrangements for his new life. But once the practicalities are all sorted and the dust settles there is a very real risk that harry — who, while undoubtedly charming doesn’t really have any qualifications other than his Royal status — will struggle to find a metier.
it’s not just that he could end up bored or develop unhealthy habits; he needs to be very careful that he doesn’t emerge from it all as little more than a bagcarrier for his glamorous wife.
Not only would that be soul-destroying for him, it would be seriously detrimental to their relationship. Because for their marriage to thrive — for any marriage to thrive, in fact — it is very important that one person, or one person’s career, does not become too dominant.
harry has already given up so much — indeed, his very identity — for Meghan. it is really important now that he does not allow her agenda to completely dominate every decision they make together.
it’s one thing to respect the wishes of your beloved, and make sacrifices on her behalf; quite another to obliterate yourself in the process.
This is something harry really needs to watch out for, not least because it seems to me there is a quite fundamental difference between what the two of them want out of life.
By his own admission harry wants to lead a ‘ normal’ life and have less publicity. The same is not strictly true of Meghan. One of the principal reasons she was so unhappy as a Royal was because she found the constraints restrictive to her ‘brand’.
it wasn’t so much that she disliked the attention, more that she resented not being able to have it on her terms.
That is why they set up their @sussexroyal instagram account, and used it instead of official Palace channels to communicate with the public.
Witness also the trademarking of the sussex name, not to mention the phalanx of agents and media advisers already on-board. Whatever it is Meghan has in mind for their next steps, it’s not the quiet life that harry says he has always longed for.
The other potential problem for harry is being cut off from his support network. since he married, he has by all accounts changed his phone number not once but twice.
Not only has he drifted away from his brother William (some say the rift is deep indeed), he has lost touch with the close-knit circle of posh pals he grew up with, all of whom who revere the Royals and, perhaps more importantly, would never dream of talking to the Press.
in North America, by contrast, he will have few if any friends of his own, just Meghan’s. Cut off from his family and friends, he could end up very lonely. No old mates to have a pint with (as he did this weekend in West London) but plenty of celebrity groupies who will attempt to get close to him for their own ends.
ANd
then there’s the foreign press. This, perhaps, may turn out to be the ultimate irony for a man who claims he and his wife have been hounded out of this country by the media. Because if he thinks he’s going to get a much easier ride abroad, i fear he may be sorely disappointed.
We all know how much harry despises the British media, and some of us can even understand it; but for all our faults, we are at least, for the most part, supportive of the Royal family as a whole.
The American and Canadian press have no such qualms, nor will social media.
As the Prince in exile, harry will be just as much of a story as he ever was, likely even more. Only now, stripped of his Royal status, he won’t have the Queen to watch his back.