Without titles, investments in their charms may be met with ever dwindling returns

Roll up, roll up. The deal has been struck and so has the match that lit the torch that ignited the cannon that fired the rocket that blasted Harry and Meghan into the celebrity stratosphere they have long desired.

Ka-boom! Hollywood here they come. From this moment onwards, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex can begin building on their joint career as, well what?

Professional charity awareness raisers, do-gooders, shine-a-lighters, refuge visitors, ribbon cutters, banana sloganeers and red carpet hustlers.

What does the future really hold for these two crazy kids, whose collective professional career highlights to date involve appearing as a paralegal in an American television series and serving as a cavalry officer in the Army? Nothing mundane, that is for sure. Harry once said that he longed to be a tour guide in Africa, but we must accept that there’s as little chance of him ending up as a Canadian Mountie as there is of Meghan actually working in a women’s refuge instead of just visiting the office of one for five minutes.

As the Mail reveals today, Netflix is among the global companies already eyeing up the Sussexes as the couple begin their exciting new life as stars in the glamour galaxy. Netflix chief content officer Ted Sarandos is one of many keen to work with them. ‘Who wouldn’t be interested? Yes, sure,’ he said.

No doubt the Sussexes will be hoping to follow the lucrative post-presidential career path of the obamas, who have scored a Netflix production deal.

But, let’s be honest, the two couples are not quite in the same league, are they?

The obamas have a deep cultural and political hinterland in America, not to mention personal gravitas, intellectual rigour and buckets of charm. oh, and eight years in the White House.

one wishes Harry and Meghan all the best, but once the novelty of their quasiroyalty and holistic babbling wears off, are Americans really going to tune in one more time to hear jet- set Harry chunter on about global warming, lesser spotted endangered species and other assorted issues?

LAuDABlY,

Harry and oprah Winfrey are already working together on a multi-part mental health series for Apple TV. Harry says he wants to share ‘ global stories of unparalleled human spirit fighting back from the darkest places’ in the programmes. Well, that’s one way of describing the Sussexes’ painful extraction from the House of Windsor and putative rebirth stateside.

No doubt Harry and Meghan’s mutual favourite narrative of being victims in and of the Royal Family — and indeed an entire bullying, racist, horrible nation — will be cranked up to the max in America. Just like a tragic backstory related to gain sympathy and support by no-hope contestants on a television talent show called The Ex-Royal Factor.

The Queen has insisted that whatever happens in the future the couple must uphold the standards of the monarchy, but the cheeky chisellers have hardly made a good start, have they?

We have already seen Harry touting for business for his wife with Disney boss Bob Iger and lion King director Jon

Favreau on the red carpet at the film’s premiere in July. ‘If anyone needs any extra voiceover work . . .’ he says before Meghan interrupts to joke ‘That’s really why we’re here — it’s the pitch.’

Some see it as the most embarrassing moment for the monarchy since the Abdication Crisis of 1936, but as any starlet will tell you, an opportunity is nothing unless it is an opportunity seized.

The couple are keen on voiceover work for the Duchess as clearly full screen appearances are deemed too vulgar at the moment. one wonders for how long.

However, it’s been rumoured for years that the original cast of Friends might be getting together for a remake of the eternally popular sitcom. Surely there is room for a guest appearance from our favourite couple here?

In an episode called The one With The Sussexes, Rachel and Phoebe could go to a yoga class with Meghan, while Joey tries to understand the complications of the multi- surnamed British royalty. ‘Duh. So you are named after like a place, like a Baked Alaska?’ Yes, Joey, exactly like that. But there lies the central problem to any future success for Harry and Meghan. The Sussexes’ entire marketability and cachet rests on their royal-ness. It is the past that they desperately want to leave behind that will monetise their future.

Yet now that they are royal no more, surely any investment in their charms will be met with ever dwindling returns?

Certainly they are to be applauded for declaring their independence, cancelling their benefits and signing off the royal dole for ever. It is brave and daring, as for the first time in his life Harry faces the indignity of earning a living that is commensurate with his lifestyle.

The couple say they want to be progressive and self-sufficient, so why not go the whole way and give up their Sussex titles, too? I’ll tell you why.

Because they would be worth very little commercially without them. Harry and Meghan want to be ordinary, but not

that ordinary. But somewhere along the line haven’t they overlooked the fact that America and Britain are very different societies? or that being a duke and duchess in North America in the year 2020 is just a little bit preposterous.

Indeed, the more you consider it, the more it seems undemocratic, unrealistic but, most of all, un-American.

While millions of North Americans are entertained by the aristocratic nonsense of, say, Downton Abbey, America and Canada see themselves as classless societies, where people are judged by accomplishment, rather than heritage.

Eventually it will dawn on everyone that a dukedom is not just a form of celebrity, it means that by accepting a hereditary title you are acknowledging that you are better than the rest of us, or at least entitled in a way others are not.

No

DouBT their high-profile friends will help them along this difficult bump in the road to Hollywood; the powerful people who will ease their passage in this exciting new world. They include George and Amal Clooney, oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, the obamas and Beyoncé — truly Harry and Meghan can literally thank their lucky stars.

So yes, Hollywood wants them, but for how long? Can you make a livelihood out of being worthy and ethical? Is a career built on sustainability really sustainable? Even Bono has to sing a song now and again and Greta Thunberg has to do her homework.

According to the deal they’ve agreed, Harry and Meghan are free to do as they please, so long as it still pleases the Queen. So expect a lot of modest good works in the beginning. Closely followed by big movie deals, chat show sofas and guest appearances — before their star power inevitably begins to fade.

Am I being too unkind? As movie mogul Sam Goldwyn once said: ‘ Too caustic? To hell with the costs, we’ll make the picture anyway.’