TOON DEFY ALL FOOTBALL LOGIC!
THE more you watch this Newcastle side, the less you understand about football. With just about every metric imaginable, they are in the Premier League’s bottom three — passes, possession, shots on goal, expected goals, shots conceded... the list goes on.
But forget the statistics. Even the naked eye tells you they are not playing well. Manager Steve Bruce labelled their ball retention ‘painful’ and said he wants to build his own team.
Yet still, somehow, they win matches. Perhaps it is that their relative success — 12th in the table and seven points clear of relegation danger — cannot be measured by in-play numbers. After all, sweat, spirit and good fortune are difficult to quantify.
But it does not feel sustainable, a team who rarely have the ball, whose strikers do not score and who rely on their goalkeeper to make save after save. Though we have been saying that ever since their revival began with a 1-0 win over Manchester United in October.
It has made little sense, and Saturday was another example of Bruce’s side defying footballing logic, Isaac Hayden heading a 94thminute winner from their first real attack of the second half.
‘Frank will go away thinking, “Jesus”, wondering how they got beat,’ Bruce said of Frank Lampard, his opposite number.
Chelsea got beat because they struggled to break down Newcastle’s excellent back three and, when they did, they misfired or were denied by Martin Dubravka.
Asked what his January transfer window priority was, Lampard shot back: ‘Attacking areas, because we need to be more clinical.’
Bruce, meanwhile, is thinking longer term. Indeed, this victory gave him the confidence to talk of the next five transfer windows.
He wants to move away from a style of play still reliant on the default resistance drilled into Newcastle’s squad by former boss Rafa Benitez. Bruce has, in fairness, done well to recognise their limitations after a difficult start. ‘I would love to play the way I want to play, take on Chelsea and get after them,’ Bruce said.
‘We can’t compete like that at the minute. We have to stick with what we are doing, and that suits us.
‘I have tried to change and we are not ready. I won’t put the club in jeopardy just for a nice style.’
Matt Ritchie, whose sweetest connection was with a corner flag that bounced into the crotch of a male supporter in the wake of Hayden’s winner, said: ‘We are where we are. The fans would like to see nice, pretty, free-flowing football, but it can’t be like that all the time. Even the best teams sometimes have to win ugly.’
So can this last or, as instinct tells you, will they embark on a winless run?
Newcastle were four without victory before Saturday but, just when they need a result, this team finds one.
Supporters remain cautious, for there is a feeling of getting by on a game-by-game basis.
Where is it heading? Survival, first and foremost.
Beyond that? Well that is the challenge for Bruce. Perhaps then it will all start to make a little more sense.