Why Fern’s separation could be a recipe for regret

THE reason we women always warmed to Fern Britton was because she was one of us. Like us, she lived a busy, mostly contented life which had its complications.

Like us, she struggled with her weight as well as her demons.

True, we felt conned when she told us her dramatic weight loss — 5st in as many months! — was down to bicycling and broccoli, when it was actually via a gastric band she’d had fitted. Yet still we forgave her. After all, who wouldn’t have the op if their waistline was the girth of an elephant (as hers was) and they had the cash?

At the centre of her busy universe was the rather hot, slightly younger TV chef Phil Vickery — the man she confided was ‘my life’s great love, a really amazing husband’.

But now she has dealt us all a body blow with the news that, after 20 years, they’re separating. Her split from the man who has loyally stood by her, been a fabulous stepdad to her three children and father to their daughter Winnie is unfathomable.

Perhaps things changed after Fern’s mother died two years ago. Or when the father, who left when she was a baby, died a month ago — leaving her ‘bonkers’ with grief.

As I know, the loss of one’s parents rips the very heart out of you, and perhaps her grief has given breath to dark thoughts — Fern has spoken honestly and movingly about her depression. But to throw away a happy 20-year marriage is just folly.

Friends say that, at 62, she’s ‘found herself’, she’s a new steely woman determined to pursue her own happiness. Her charity cycle ride from John O’Groats to Land’s End made her feel ‘invincible’.

Time for a reality check, Fern. You are a comely, middle-aged mum with your TV career behind you. You could cycle to heaven and back and not find fulfilment. None of us is invincible and the grass is not always greener on the other side.

Who knows what goes on inside a marriage? Fern said demeaningly that she preferred a cuppa in bed than sex — so has Phil met someone who prefers passion to PG Tips? Or has Fern found a new lover in Lycra?

Whatever, she will never recapture those years of shared love and family life with anyone else. Divorces are horrible and painful — and a life sentence for the children, however grown up they are. No one wins.

Twenty years ago, Fern fell for Phil’s ‘irresistible gooseberry crumble’ and his kindness. That’s the real recipe for happiness.