Pigs in my blankets!
When Chris Tarrant moved out, his ex moved in three pet pigs. As she reveals in this gloriously eccentric account, they took over her home, her heart – and yes, she’s even had . . .
you will see that they are very warm and soulful. And Paprika was a great example of how gentle and accommodating pigs can be.
She even let my friend’s little daughter have a piggy-back ride on her. And whenever it was time for her annual piggy pedicure, she happily offered up her trotters to be trimmed.
Having had two litters before she came to me, she also had strong maternal instincts, as became clear when I acquired George.
Although I’d been determined not to adopt any more animals, I was contacted by a local family who had bought what they thought was a ‘teacup piglet’, but ran out of space as it became clear that George was going to be anything but miniature.
Because he had always slept indoors, I let him take up residence in the house. And while Paprika was always kind to him, Peter was a little less welcoming. You could imagine him thinking: ‘Who’s this silly little boy?’
George often trots into the living room at night and used to join me on the sofa. He’s far too big for that now and if I forget to close the child gate, he seizes the chance to lie on the Persian rug in the hall.
Of all my pigs, he is the cheekiest, which is why I left him behind on a recent trip to London. MY
son Toby is a presenter on the alternative music station Radio X, and for his birthday his colleagues decided to go the whole hog (as it were) and arranged for me and one of the pigs to surprise him in the studio during his morning show.
I would have taken George, but he’s not happy on a lead, and the thought of a pig running amok in Leicester Square was too much to bear, so I took Paprika instead. She was a huge hit.
That was only three months ago and I still find it hard to come to terms with the fact that she has gone. The vet thought she’d had a heart attack and I suppose that’s how we would all like to die — quickly and without too much suffering. But it has been horribly mournful for me and Peter.
He is still clearly depressed and very clingy and I’m not sure what to do about it, although one option might be to find him another wife!
Right now I’m saying no, because I already have nine animals if you include the goldfish.
At my age, I’m looking to take on less responsibility, not more. But past experience suggests that when it comes to pets, whatever they may be, my ‘no’ never lasts very long.