The one lesson I’ve learned from life

brIT and Grammy-nominated singersongwriter David Gray, 51, has recorded 11 albums. The best known, White Ladder, was released 20 years ago and is one of the top 30 bestselling of all time. He lives in London with his wife and two daughters.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO BE VULNERABLE

FrOM birth, i had a condition called pyloric stenosis, which is when the top of your stomach doesn’t open properly. in the first few weeks of my life, i was starving, and then i had a huge operation. it made the world a place i found difficult to trust.

At an early age, i developed a coping strategy: creating imaginary worlds through sculptures and paintings, where i felt safer. i was a shy child, but, aged eight, i was given a starring role as a wizard in the christmas play when a classmate fell ill. i had learned the songs, but had to improvise the dance. i was a big hit! i learned that if the crowd can feel your joy on stage, they will live that joy with you.

From then on, i loved performing and became engrossed in pop music. But, by 1998, i had recorded three albums, all of which had gone nowhere. Standing on stage every night felt like an exercise in futility, so i decided to go my own way.

The result was White Ladder, recorded with no money in my bedroom in our terrace house in Stoke newington, north London. The windows were open when it was hot, and you can hear the traffic on some of the tracks.

recording at home, i quickly discovered a sense of intimacy and freedom i hadn’t experienced before.

The songs are open-hearted, like an X-ray through my thoughts and feelings. it flipped the negative energy that was making me defensive into a positive change.

released on my own label, the record found immediate success in ireland, which acted as a springboard for the UK and beyond. After a licensing deal with Warner Music, White Ladder spent three years in the UK Top 100.

Listening to it now, i can sense what great strength can be found by revealing your vulnerabilities. For me, it changed the previously indifferent world into one that felt more human, which taught me that miracles really can happen.