We wed 6 months after first date
Judy Jones, 59, a retired retail manager, lives in north Wales with husband Alan, 62, a retired police superintendent. They have one daughter, Clare, 37, and two grandchildren aged eight and six. JUDY SAYS:
I was just 19 when I had my first date with Alan, in September 1979. I remember dashing home and telling my mum: ‘This is the one!’ She just rolled her eyes. I’d never had a proper boyfriend before, after all. But now, 40 years on, we’re about to celebrate our ruby wedding anniversary. There have been bumps in the road. Our secret is to learn to laugh about arguments — and give each other plenty of space. For example, Alan’s retirement in 2006 was a huge adjustment. After 30 years of me running the home, he suddenly started telling me how to load the dishwasher! It’s vital to have time apart, even if it’s just nipping to the supermarket. Alan was a handsome 21- year- old policeman when he was introduced to me by a mutual friend. He asked me out to dinner, where he showed himself to be incredibly attentive. He also really made me laugh. Whirlwind doesn’t come close. Within days, we’d said ‘I love you’. After three weeks he proposed, later buying me a second-hand diamond solitaire ring for £30. I haven’t taken it off since. My parents forbade us to live together until we were married. So in March 1980, six months after our first date, we tied the knot. As newlyweds we were fortunate enough to be given a police house and in April 1982 we had our daughter, Clare. Like any couple, we’ve had to negotiate plenty. Alan’s job as a murder investigator often took him away from home, and since retiring he’s suffered delayed trauma from some of the cases he worked on. But we’ve always stuck together. I only have to look at my second-hand engagement ring to remember those heady early days. When I met Judy, I’d just been posted to the area and wasn’t looking to settle down. My police career was my first love. But I loved her company and conversation, and before I knew it, was arranging to meet her during her lunch breaks and after work. Judy has never just been my wife: she’s my best friend. Although 40 years is equivalent to three-and-a-half life sentences, I’d willingly do it all over again.