LITTLEJOHN

SO WHO did pay for Boris Johnson’s winter holiday in the Caribbean? we’re still none the wiser. Mobile phone tycoon David Ross says he ‘ facilitated’ the villa where Boris stayed with his girlfriend, but didn’t pick up the £15,000 bill. A spokesman for Mr Ross said: ‘It was a house that was rented but the people could not turn up, so Boris Johnson got the use of it.’

What a stroke of luck. Beats the hell out of lastminute.com.

But that’s Boris for you. Pro cake, pro eating it. with the kind of roll he’s been on lately, we shouldn’t be surprised that an all-exes paid sunshine break in Mustique fell into his lap. Everything’s coming up roses right now. he’s the man with the Midas touch. Talk about jammy.

Sajid Javid did him a right favour yesterday by falling on his sword, saving Boris the trouble of having to sack the now ex- Chancellor. The subsequent feedingfrenzy among the Boys In The Bubble also served to divert media attention away from Mustique. Result. of course, it won’t last. There’ll inevitably be an almighty train wreck coming down the track sooner or later. But who can blame Boris for making the most of it?

I only hope he remembered to leave a large tip for the villa’s three staff, including a chef. After all, it’s not everyone who gets the use of a luxurious three-bedroom villa on a secluded private island entirely free, gratis and for nothing.

The happy couple had a whale of a time — Carrie in her skimpy halter-neck cossie and her blond beau in his £210-a-pop Vilebrequin swimming trunks. As befits a gentleman of Boris’s stature, Vilebrequins are built for comfort, not speed — boasting seamless mesh linings designed to prevent any unfortunate wardrobe malfunctions.

NO SPEEDOS for Bozzie Bear, thank heavens. we must be grateful for small mercies.

Still, whoever originally intended to stay in the villa must have been gutted. According to Mustique rental terms, payment has to be made in full 90 days before arrival and is non-refundable in the event of cancellation. The BBC suggested David Ross offered them use of his own villa on the island at a later date in exchange for clearing the deck for the Prime Minister and his partner.

Who knows? Mr Ross issued a statement insisting that he had not ‘put his hand in his pocket’.

Does it matter who picked up the tab, provided it wasn’t the Chinese telecoms firm huawei or one of the construction companies involved in hS2?

Mr Ross is a well-known Tory donor, most recently giving the party £250,000 in the final three weeks of last year’s General Election campaign. he’s worth £668 million, so another 15 grand to pay for Boris to take a well-earned holiday doesn’t even amount to a round of drinks.

Politicians have long since enjoyed the hospitality of wealthy benefactors. winston Churchill,

Boris’s role model, even had his gambling debts paid off by a rich businessman. we’ve seen the likes of George osborne and Peter Mandelson filling their boots on a billionaire’s yacht in the Med.

And who can forget the globetrotting Blairs, swanning their way round the world like a pair of truffle hounds — staying with Cliff Richard in Portugal and Barbados, Silvio ‘Bunga Bunga’ Berlusconi in Italy, and one of the Bee Gees in Miami? At least Boris declared his Mustique holiday in the Commons Register of Members’ Financial Interests — unlike Blair, who in 2005 tried to hide his freeloading on ‘security’ grounds.

What caused all the excitement this time was Boris naming David Ross as the donor, something we are now assured was a ‘mistake’.

And to be honest, £15,000 sounds like — and, indeed, is — a great deal of money. But it does seem suspiciously cheap for high season in Mustique.

For the record, if you think I approve of all this you’d be well wide of the mark.

Politicians should pay for their own holidays. If they can’t afford Mustique — which most of them can’t — they should settle for a fortnight in a caravan at Clacton.

On the face of it, Boris isn’t short of shilling. his extra- curricular activities earned him £800,000 during the Theresa May years.

Mind you, he is going through a costly divorce. And although he’s now living in Downing Street, they may be having trouble letting Carrie’s flat south of the river.

WHO wants to live next door to nosy neighbours recording your every breath on an iPhone? Next thing you know, you could be plastered all over the front page of the Guardian.

Boris will ride this one out, but there is evidence that he knows taking a free holiday in Mustique isn’t a good look. The giveaway is that, although he could probably have blagged a ride on a private jet, he chose to travel to the Caribbean economy on a scheduled airline and didn’t take an upgrade — even though one will almost certainly have been offered.

Here’s a plan. Next year, instead of a private villa on Mustique, he could take Carrie to Sandals on Jamaica. I’m told ocho Rios is very nice in late December.

Air Jamaica don’t fly on Sunday, but there is an alternative.

Boris could have a quiet word with Priti Flamingo at the home office and arrange to hitch a ride on one of those prison planes deporting rapists and murderers back home.

What better way to celebrate our complete departure from the EU on December 31.

I don’t like Brexit I love it. Dreadlock holiday!