Toss a coin and see how you feel

DOM SAYS:

THIs is a great shame. I’m sorry your relationship has gone wrong, especially as it had all been going so well so far. From what you’ve told me about your boyfriend’s behaviour, he is evidently not a good traveller — and you can’t bash him for that. Delays and hiccups can stress anyone out. That said, he shouldn’t have shouted at the person on the desk or, indeed, at anyone. There is no excuse for such behaviour.

However, I don’t think you should criticise him for not wanting to do much apart from lie in, laze about and have a beer. steph and I love our holidays, same as anyone else, and neither of us likes to sightsee. Most of the time, when we actually get a holiday we’re exhausted. There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend your time on holiday relaxing with a beer.

If you chose an all-inclusive hotel, whether it’s one- star or five- star, the point is that you don’t have to leave. so I don’t think it’s fair to call the poor chap out on that one, either.

You might have had a slightly firmer foot when it came to the choice of hotel. If you knew you wouldn’t like it, then the time to say so was before you booked.

That said, I hope you’re miffed because he could easily have spent more on something fancier but chose to be tight. It would be wildly unfair of you to complain about the hotel if it was all he could afford.

There is no pleasure in going somewhere that is out of your budget — pinching rolls for lunch from the breakfast buffet is no fun for anyone. so he should absolutely be forgiven for the naff hotel if that was the only one within his reach.

Thing is, if you really liked him then I doubt the star-rating would have mattered so much, if at all. And that tells me you’re simply not in love with him. But you don’t seem so sure.

so, what I propose is this. Toss a coin. Heads you leave him, tails you stay. Then listen to your gut on the answer. If your heart sinks at what the coin-toss tells you, do the opposite.

should you end up staying together, then you have two choices: holiday separately — which doesn’t strike me as a great idea — or find a middle ground. If he wants to sleep until 11 and you want to get up at the crack of dawn, then both do what you want.

You don’t have to be joined at the hip the whole time. You can go sightseeing while he stays by the pool.

But only if you love him. If not, don’t waste your precious holiday time, or any other time, with the wrong person.