extraordinary lives
EVEN as a child, my father-in-law was an independent lad, with a character marked by resilience. He was born Gavra Kaldesic, the eldest of four, in the town of Milic in what was then Yugoslavia. When he was ten, his father fell from a horse and died a few days later. Life changed for ever on April 6, 1941, when the Nazis invaded. The able-bodied men left for the mountains, and 12-year-old Gavra went with them. He soon became a valuable member of the band of resistance fighters. A few years later, he joined the British Army in Italy. Being just over 5 ft 7 in, he probably didn’t look old enough, but they took him anyway. At the end of the war, he was a refugee, a partisan who was unable to return to his family in Communist-controlled Yugoslavia. He moved to Britain, was given the nickname of Tommy and worked down the mines in Nuneaton. Despite his limited education, Tommy was a quick learner and improved his English by reading a newspaper daily. The love of his life was Ivy, who had arrived in Nuneaton from Berwick as a teenager after her mother had died and her father
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couldn’t cope. Soon they were spending all their spare time together. They married in December 1950 and had their first child, Mick. With the help of the Yugoslav Orthodox Church and expat Yugoslavs, Tommy put a deposit down on his lifelong family home. Soon Mick gained a sister, Vera, and eight years later the family was complete with the arrival of Sasha. Tommy worked hard to provide for his growing family, interspersing two spells down the pits with a job at the Standard motor company. There was just one sadness in his life: though he had re-established contact with his family in Milic, who had been told he had been killed in the mountains, he was unable to visit due to the political situation. But in 1972, teenage Vera set off for Yugoslavia and found Tommy’s mother and siblings. A year later, with a British passport, Tommy was reunited with his family. His old fight came to the fore after a diagnosis of stomach cancer, from which he recovered. He loved his allotment and, with Ivy, was always throwing parties: his garden pig roasts were legendary. They were a strong-minded couple and there were fireworks, but they shared an enduring love. The family expanded with two grandchildren and three great grandchildren. Ivy developed dementia and Tommy realised this was a battle he couldn’t beat. He passed away peacefully the night before she moved into a care home.
GAVRA ‘TOMMY’ KALDESIC, born September 15, 1928; died February 12, aged 91.