If you’re really posh, you’ll buy choccy scotch eggs in Waitrose

Those were the days, my friend, we thought they’d never end, you drove your car, to Tesco’s or As-dah! Bought quilted toilet rolls, six eggs and fresh bread rolls, those were the days, oh yes those were the days.

such halycon, carefree times. Just to swan into a supermarket without spending an hour in a freezing cold queue around the building seems a far-off luxury.

Nobody can have imagined during the filming for the hour-long filler advert Inside Waitrose (C5) that this salute to Britain’s poshest supermarket would seem quite so poignant by the time it aired.

But even before a trip to the shops became the highlight of everybody’s week, viewers did love these mundane tours of the aisles. The Iceland documentaries started the trend, and since then we’ve seen paeans to sainsbury’s, John Lewis and almost everyone else.

These shows cater for all classes. If it isn’t a reality series taking us behind the scenes at Liberty or hamleys, we meet the cheery shelfstackers at Poundland.

The store was founded in 1904 by Mr Waite, Mr Rose and Mr Taylor: we weren’t told what happened to Taylor but Waite and Rose merged in a two-for-one deal. Queen Mary shopped at their Windsor branch. she liked the honey soap — though

COP QUOTE OF THE NIGHT: ‘There are a million stories in the world of art,’ declared critic Waldemar Januszczak in The Art Mysteries (BBC4). ‘This has been one of them.’ Does that ring a bell? He was echoing the classic intro of 1950s U.S. police serial Naked City.

it wasn’t until the store became the exclusive stockist for her greatgrandson Prince Charles’s Duchy original biccies that Waitrose became really snooty.

Now anyone who shops there can count themselves Waitroyal.

once we’d seen the photos of Kate and William nipping into their local Waitrose for quornflakes or whatever dukes and duchesses have for breakfast, there wasn’t much else to do but giggle at the pretentious nosh.

This is the place for the discerning foodie to burn his money while titivating his palate. There are chillies flavoured with anchovy, and salmon soaked in lapsang souchong tea.

sample the heston Blumenthal range and you can start your meal with a prawn cocktail steeped in a Bloody Mary cocktail, then finish it with a chocolate scotch egg.

even the gourmet dog isn’t left out, with platters of ‘wild boar, dried seaweed and camomile’. Mind you, the Queen’s pooches were happy with Tesco’s budget dogmeat, apparently.

That’s the sign of true breeding

— when you don’t need labels to prove you are top dog.

At the Kabul hospital in Our Girl (BBC1), the top dog there is American surgeon Dr Antonio ( Josh Bowman), a man so self-confident that he addresses British Army medics Georgie and Mimi as ‘princesses’.

Dr Antonio’s beard is a perfect velvet stubble, like the baize on a snooker table. every day of filming must be a battle against the clock, to catch that brief window when each hair is at its ideal length and optimum glossiness. every line he speaks aches with macho swagger. ‘This is Afghanistan,’ he growls, ‘there are no guarantees.’ But one thing surely is guaranteed: Georgie (Michelle Keegan), who can’t abide him now, will soon be wildly in love with Dr Antonio. Poor reckless girl — that stubble is going to play merry hell with her lip gloss.

This week, Georgie was guarding the inspirational Dr Bahil (Badria Timimi) who was administering polio vaccines to Afghan children and getting shot at by the Taliban for her trouble.

In homeland on sunday nights, CIA agent Carrie Mathison is also getting shot at by the Taliban, who have killed the U.s. president. But those bad guys are up against the beard of saul Berenson (Mandy Patinkin). Now that’s real face fuzz.