granny So, David, is your really a gangster?

( And have you seen the ) Queen’s knickers?

Just some of the hilarious questions best-selling author DAVID WALLIAMS was asked by our panel of child fans

To gRoWN-upS, he’s the little Britain star who brings his humorous touch to the Britain’s got talent judging panel.

But to children everywhere, he’s the reigning king of kids’ fiction, bringing his comedic flair to hilarious hits such as gangsta granny, Mr Stink and Billionaire Boy.

often declared the successor to Roald Dahl, last year David Walliams saw his sales pass the £100 million mark, making him one of the most successful children’s authors of all time.

tomorrow, the Daily Mail has a treat for young readers with an exclusive extract from the author’s brilliant new book, Slime, together with some fantastic puzzles.

Here, as an extra treat, Walliams, who has a sixyear-old son of his own, answers questions from some of his biggest fans — a specially invited Mail panel of children who were able to ask him any question they wanted . . .

‘IS YOUR GRANNY A REAL GANGSTER?’ FELIX, 8

SaDly both my grannies died many years ago. Neither were gangsters, but both had lots of adventures before I was even born. My grandma telling me stories about living in london during World War II and surviving the Blitz really opened my eyes. Even though I was only a child, it was the first spark of thinking about the secret lives of old people, ultimately ending up with me writing the book gangsta granny many years later.

If you are lucky enough to have grandparents, Felix, please ask them about their lives. I bet they have had way more excitement than you think.

‘WHAT FOOD WOULD YOU EAT EVERY DAY IF YOU COULD?’ CLEO, 8

WEll, if I could eat anything at all, Cleo, I would have fish and chips with mushy peas, followed by banoffee pie every day for breakfast, lunch and dinner. However, if I did, I might get so big and round that you would have to roll me around.

‘DO YOU HAVE A DRESS?’ ARCHIE, 8

I HavE a few dresses I have worn for tv shows over the years. Sometimes I drag them out for fancy dress parties, but I don’t wear them on a daily basis. However, if I did it would be no big deal. people should be able to wear whatever they feel comfortable in. If boys want to wear dresses, that is cool by me!

‘ARE YOU AS FUNNY AS YOUR BOOKS?’ SASHA, 11

FuNNINESS comes and goes. It is funny like that. Sometimes I wake up and feel funny and sometimes I don’t. I have no idea why.

Ever since I was your age, Sasha, I have loved making people laugh. I try and make my son laugh every single day, and the sound of him laughing always makes me happy.

So I hope I am funny like my books, but not always. Sometimes I am a bit grumpy!

‘HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE QUEEN’S KNICKERS?’ ALBIE, 6

No, but I have met the Queen a couple of times and she was very friendly and kind. However, you aren’t meant to ask her questions as I imagine it isn’t fair on her if everyone puts her on the spot. I really wanted to ask: ‘Did you know I have put you in my books?’ It is incredible how many books, films and plays the Queen has featured in over the years. I wonder if she watches them all.

‘HAVE YOU TASTED A RATBURGER?’ DANIEL, 7

Not knowingly, but then you never know. Maybe! I have eaten some dodgy burgers over the years. When I was a child, there were lots of stories going around about people biting into a burger and it turning out to be a rat! or a dead dog being found in a deep freeze of a restaurant. the stories were probably all made up, but they always fired my imagination which is probably why I ended up writing Ratburger.

‘HOW WOULD YOU BUILD A SPACE ROCKET?’ MARTHA AND CHARLOTTE, BOTH 7

I WoulD use Simon Cowell’s money. He has far too much of it and he should give it all to me. then I could build a rocket and blast him into space, and leave him there. What a wonderful thought that is: Simon Cowell floating through the infinity of space for all eternity.

‘DID YOU ENJOY EDITING THE BEANO? JOE, 9

I lovED the Beano when I was a child, and I love it now. It is super-funny and a bit naughty, which is what I aspire my books to be. there would be no World’s Worst Children without Dennis the Menace, so I have a great deal to thank the Beano for. Not every child wants to devour all the Harry potter books, so if you aren’t that into reading, the Beano is a great place to start.

‘IS THERE A STORY YOU WISH YOU WROTE?’ ED, 10

I WISH I had written Roald Dahl’s the twits. It is so funny and surreal, and I love that it is a children’s book with lead characters of an old married couple who hate each other.

Roald Dahl was an absolute genius, and I love all his books, and films, but the twits makes me laugh the most. Quentin Blake’s illustrations are perfect, too. I have read it to my son lots of times, and I enjoy it more and more each time. He loves it. If you haven’t read it, stop reading this at once and read the twits.

‘IS SOMEONE IN YOUR FAMILY A BILLIONAIRE?’ WILL, 10 AND JAKE, 8

No oNE in my family is that rich. I have met a few billionaires and none of them were happy. In fact, they were miserable. there are so many more important things than money. It is nice to have enough money to live comfortably, but beyond that it tends to cause problems. I admire those billionaires who give their money to charity, like JK Rowling. She is my hero. an absolute genius writer who uses her fantastical wealth to

help children.

‘WHAT WAS YOUR No 1 BOOK AS A CHILD?’ EVIE, 12

CHaRlIE and the Chocolate Factory, by Roald Dahl, is the book that got me into reading. and you don’t become a writer unless you like reading books. Wherever I go in the world, everyone knows that book, whatever age they are. Wonka bars. golden tickets. oompa-loompas. a chocolate river. a glass elevator that can go anywhere. It is the ultimate children’s book. Whenever I read it, I feel like giving up as I will never write anything half as good. Still, it is fun trying. r th th

‘WHAT CHARACTER ARE YOU MOST LIKE?’ ROSIE, 9

DENNIS from the Boy In the Dress. I put a lot of myself into that book. What happens in it didn’t happen to me, but I wish it had. I loved being in the audience for the Royal Shakespeare Company musical version. I cried every time!

‘WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTER?’ SEBASTIAN, 8

vIllaINS are always the most exciting characters to write. they are the ones who make the stories happen. Without the villains, the heroes would have nothing to do. So I love Burt in Ratburger.

What I learned from Roald Dahl is to make your baddies funny. think of Miss trunchbull in Matilda — I tried to do that

with Burt and with most of my villains. If they are funny you want to spend time with them. The Joker from Batman might be the best villain of all time: equally scary and funny.

‘WHY DID YOU START WRITING?’ RORY, 10

I JusT had an idea for a story. I thought what would happen if a boy went to school dressed as a girl? How would his friends and teachers react? I thought it might make an interesting and amusing book for children, so I got writing.

‘ARE YOUR CHARACTERS BASED ON REAL PEOPLE?’ LARA, 11

Yes, lots are. Blubbering Bertha from The World’s Worst Children was based on my older sister Julie. she used to cry to get me in trouble with our parents. Years later I got revenge by writing the story!

‘DO YOU LIKE FROZEN’S ELSA OR ANNA BEST?’ SIDONIE, 4

Please don’t hate me but I have never seen Frozen all the way through! However, contestants always sing let It Go when they audition for Britain’s Got Talent. I think I’ve now heard that song a billion times!

‘CAN YOU DO THE FLOSS?’ GEORGINA, 12

No. I really can’t dance at all. I might literally have two left feet. so you are never going to see me on strictly Come Dancing, as I am very competitive and I couldn’t bear coming last!

‘WHO WAS YOUR ROLE MODEL AS A CHILD?’ MARTHA, 10

I loveD Doctor Who and sherlock Holmes. Both use their brains rather than their fists to conquer the baddies.

‘WHAT WAS IT LIKE WRITING YOUR FIRST BOOK?’ IRIS, 10

someTImes you produce your best work when you don’t know what you are doing. When I wrote The Boy In The Dress 13 years ago I had never written a book before. I followed my instincts and lots of people think it is my best book.

‘WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO WRITE GANGSTA GRANNY?’ ROSA, 8

I WaNTeD children to realise that old people aren’t boring. In fact, they have had many more adventures in their lives than most children could dream of. Just wait until you are a grandmother, Rosa! I bet you will have some tales to tell.

‘WHY DO YOU WRITE FOR CHILDREN INSTEAD OF ADULTS?’ ARCHIE, 15

BeCause I think children’s books are so much more imaginative than books for grown-ups. and, crucially, children’s books are shorter.