NATURE HEALED my post-natal DEPRESSION

She’s fashion’s favourite florist (and Meghan loves her too), but behind closed doors she battled the baby blues. Here Willow Crossley reveals...

WILLOW CROSSLEY has been spending much of lockdown in the garden of her Cotswolds home, picking roses and sweet peas, and tending her vegetable patch.

indoors, she has decorated rooms with young tree branches. ‘More than ever now i just crave nature in every form.’

willow, 37, florist to A-listers, including the Duchess of Sussex, knows just how nature can help us through tough times.

She discovered this ten years ago, while living in rural France, where her husband Charlie ran a vineyard. ‘it was very romantic when it was just the two of us,’ says willow, now the mother of three boys.

Yet when she gave birth to their first son, wolf, she suffered severe, but undiagnosed, post-natal depression.

‘i was horribly lonely. There were no baby groups and i hadn’t a single friend nearby. i’ve always been over-sensitive and a real worrier, and i became overwhelmed.’

when alone, she ‘would cry and cry. i was hyperventilating with pain and loneliness. But as soon as i was with Charlie, or my parents, i’d paste a smile on my face and pretend everything was great.

‘Partly it was because i was ashamed — there was this sense, “You have a beautiful baby, what have you got to feel sad about?” and partly it was because my family believe in just getting on with it.’

The only thing that helped willow was being outdoors. ‘Even at rock bottom, when i didn’t notice anything else, i’d go outside and notice the sun, sea and sky and it would give me a lift.’

it was only on her return to the UK, when wolf was ten months old, that willow was prescribed antidepressants.

‘There’s such a stigma attached to them, i thought “i don’t need these”. But then i took them and, suddenly, i started to find things funny and to smile again and it changed my life.’ ToDAY

wolf is a strapping tenyearold and willow has written a book, The wild Journal: A Year of Nurturing Yourself Through Nature and its advice couldn’t be more appropriate right now.

The book celebrates nature’s power to transform our moods, with tips on boosting spirits with activities such as pressing flowers and star gazing.

if you don’t have a garden, you can still enjoy long walks, cultivate a window box or grow herbs in the kitchen, she says.

‘i’ve seen studies that show being outside for just 30 minutes a week can reduce depression and anxiety by 80 per cent, and that gardening releases endorphins proven physically and mentally to help you.’

To some, the book’s revelations came as a shock. Charlie was by now aware of her mental health struggles, but her mother was horrified on reading an early draft. ‘i’d never given Mum any reason to think anything was up. i didn’t want to worry her.’

Yet, having moved to their current home in oxfordshire, where

— in normal times — she helps Charlie run two pubs, willow’s depression had returned on giving birth to second son, Rafferty, now eight. She took antidepressants again, but this time a health visitor arranged counselling. ‘i didn’t want to, but it really helped.’

with son number three, Kit, now five, willow again sensed the black dog looming. But complications with the pregnancy led doctors to warn her it would be dangerous to have any more children. ‘So this time i cherished every second of having a little baby, although i had to take the pills again.’

To her surprise, during lockdown, her boys have flung themselves into outdoor activities.

‘in some ways i feel like we’ve gone back to a pre-tech era, where there’s time to do simple things such as make daisy chains and see pictures in the clouds.’

willow grew up ‘running wild’ in the countryside around Vaynor Park — a 15th-century estate in the English-welsh borders that has been in her father’s family for generations — before moving to london to work in fashion. But, six years ago, her passion for nature led her to retrain as a florist.

Her relaxed style (‘i can’t bear neat, tight bunches’) meant she was soon fully booked by retailers such as oka and Boden, and running flower-arranging workshops for Chanel and other big brands.

She is also hired for smart christenings, weddings and events, such as the 2018 Kensington Palace launch of Meghan’s cookbook in aid of Grenfell Tower victims.

is the Duchess a friend? ‘She’s very friendly whenever i see her. i really like her and she’s great to work with.’

Now willow’s trying to make the most of time at home, although she sometimes ‘feels flat’.’ She’s coping by keeping a gratitude diary, listing things she’s enjoyed, such as dropping off jam jars of flowers on friends’ doorsteps. ‘People will just be so happy to know you’re thinking of them.’

As for herself, ‘i give myself permission to go into the garden and potter,’ she says. ‘Right now, even weeding is so good for the soul.’

THE Wild Journal: A Year Of Nurturing Yourself Through Nature by Willow Crossley (£10.99, Bluebird) is out now.