He can’t cut contact, but you can

DOM SAYS:

First, i’d like to say thank you very much for your letter. i’m sure it took some courage for you to write to us.

the second thing i’d like to say is — Lord above, you’re only two years in and he’s already cheated on you! i’m so sorry for you; that is completely unacceptable.

As we all know, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, and i think it’s abundantly clear that your chap is far from unmoved by his ex.

We all have histories, but he is not yet as emotionally distant from his former partner as you would hope to see in someone you are in love with.

Co-parenting after a split is always going to be difficult and it’s always going to involve being in contact with each other.

i think it would be tricky to enact your suggestion of reading his messages. they do have good reason to be in touch with each other on a regular basis (although obviously not about sex!).

i’m also not sure it’s so terrible that your chap is asking questions about his ex’s new partner — this person will be spending time with his son, after all. But as for the rest of his behaviour? Well, that leaves a lot to be desired.

it sounds to me like his previous relationship has not yet run its course. they still have issues and will continue to have issues until the child has grown up and left the building.

You don’t say how old his son is, so it’s perfectly possible that this is going to continue for many years to come.

Which is, really, the crux of the matter. it may have been a one- off. He may have made a mistake and he may regret it very deeply, but the one thing he cannot do is walk away. He simply can’t cut contact with his son — nor should you want that — but that means continued interaction with the woman he betrayed you with.

Which means this is always going to be an issue for you, and any time he talks to his ex it’s going to cause you stress. Day in, day out, for ever. He’s broken the bond of trust and the worry is never going to go away.

so my advice is that for your peace of mind you should leave him and find a decent man who’ll not treat you like this.

this is absolutely not your fault, and you shouldn’t have to live with the ramifications for the rest of your life. Leave these two to it and find a man who will make you happy. You deserve it!

WATCH Steph & Dom’s Couples Therapy, their brilliant new video series, tomorrow on mailplus.co.uk/stephanddom If you have a question you’d like Steph and Dom to tackle, write to: stephanddom@dailymail.co.uk