Move in the in-laws!
The secret to a happy (fourth) marriage?
He’s 55, she’s 34 and they met discussing rhubarb on Twitter. Now as their son turns one, Masterchef’s Gregg Wallace says...
Fifty-five year old Masterchef judge Gregg Wallace is rather enjoying lockdown with his beautiful young wife Anne-Marie.
the other evening, he tells me by way of example, they retired to their bedroom with some wine and cheese (‘we have a sofa and a coffee table in there’) to watch a Disney film.
Sounds very civilised. Life chez Wallace is well- organised and calm in a way it’s never previously been. yes, Gregg has been married three times before, but it’s not just the 22-year age gap that’s different with this wife.
‘i’ve hit the jackpot,’ he says frankly. ‘it’s the first time in my life i’ve met someone who genuinely likes me.’
Consequently, you get the sense he likes himself, too. the man once famous for being,
in his own words, ‘the fat, bald bloke from Masterchef who likes puddings’ is in the shape of his life, having lost four stone since meeting anna, as he calls her, in 2013.
He’s convinced he can help other middle-aged folk take themselves in hand and to that end has launched his very own health and fitness website, with advice from a psychologist and his personal trainer.
once a notoriously heavy drinker, he proudly tells me that he and anna only managed half a bottle of wine between them at their bedroom soiree. anna’s influence, he beams. He is now firmly of the view that men who drink too much (and eat too much) are simply unhappy.
‘Happy men are not the ones in the pub, laughing,’ he says. ‘Happy men are at home with their wives and family. there is no one happy in the pub.’
and Gregg is patently happy to be at home, with anna, who is 34 (‘but looks 24’, he chips in) sitting at his side.
THis interview is supposed to be with both of them, but she’s happy to let Gregg talk. to be fair, he does keep trying to get her to answer, but explains ‘she’s very shy’.
it quickly emerges that his recipe for a happy home life has some rather unusual ingredients. they are called nonna and Grandpa.
Yes, the reason he and his wife were able to enjoy a civilised cheese-and-wine evening was because their toddler son — sid turned one in March — was out of the equation. and the bedroom.
anna’s parents, rina and Massimo ( Max), live with them, and not just for lockdown. rina has been there since they bought the fivebedroom mansion near ashford in Kent, in 2017, but now her husband has moved in too, to share the childcare (and every other household task you could think of).
the in-laws have baby sid sleeping in their bedroom for half the week, allowing his parents to enjoy uninterrupted nights.
‘We had to wait for grandpa to close his business in Coventry. He had a Chinese takeaway, even though he’s from napoli,’ explains Gregg. then Max sold up and moved in, too.
‘We did have a discussion about it. i said: “are you sure you are oK with this?”, and he said: “Yes, you are the head of the household now”.’
it’s an arrangement which will raise eyebrows, Gregg concedes, but ‘it just works’. still, the detail of how they organise it is jaw-dropping.
‘anna and her mum take care of all the house stuff. in the morning, they sit with their coffee. “i will do the ironing,” one will say. “Who is doing dinner?”. by the time they finish their coffee, they’ve planned the day.’
Most afternoons, the grandparents take sid out. Grandpa also does the garden (a considerable task, given the grounds run to five acres). ‘He does all the stuff i can’t do. if a handle comes off a window, if there is a leaky pipe, Max fixes it. He puts up shelves.’
Gregg’s role in this cosy family commune? bread-winner, pure and simple. every day he also makes lunch and in lockdown he has been doing the shopping, an expensive business ‘because we eat well’.
‘When they moved in, they wanted to contribute. i said “no way. You don’t need to spend your money any more. enjoy your retirement. Come and look after us.” ’
Many men might baulk at the idea of having the in-laws move in. but for Gregg, it was a requirement of family life. startlingly, he suggests sid’s very existence depended on the in-laws being around.
He and anna married in 2016. When they discussed having a baby (he has two grown-up kids from marriage no 2), he was concerned motherhood would rob him of his beautiful young wife.
‘i said: “Yes, i’m willing to have a baby with you, but a couple of provisos ... i’m not willing to swap my fun, sexy girlfriend for an exhausted mum. We make enough money, i’d like you to get help in the house.” anna said “What about my mum?”. that was perfect.’
blimey. is he really saying having the in-laws around will help keep his wife sexy?
‘the second condition was that i would get two weeks away with anna every year, just us.’
From where he’s standing, he says, it’s obvious. Younger men might have the time to ‘lose’ their wives to child-rearing. but he had sid at 55, ‘which meant i wouldn’t get my wife back until i was 75.’
it’s a bracingly honest admission, but one anna is unfazed by. she simply says the arrangement suits them both, because she has all she ever wanted in life — a loving husband and a family.
‘Gregg didn’t want me to be all alone in a big house if he was away filming,’ she adds. ‘and that doesn’t happen with Mum and Dad here. and it does work. We never have an argument.’
but what about sid? Well, that’s where the aforementioned organisation comes in.
‘it is diarized that i spend time with him,’ says Gregg. ‘We have a walk after lunch, then we have what i call “splish splash” time. i get in the bath with him every night. so twice a day i have time with my little boy. the rest of the time, it’s his mum’s and his nonna’s responsibility.’
SCHeDulinG in time with your child might seem bonkers, but what becomes clear is that Gregg’s relationship with his diary is perhaps the most crucial one.
this is a man who lives by lists. His shirts are arranged with military precision in his wardrobe. any that have been newly ironed ( by nonna) must be placed back facing a certain direction. nothing happens — nothing — without being in the diary. even that Disney film would have been arranged by his Pa.
‘i don’t do this watching telly thing,’ he says. ‘i realise i am strange. a lot of people have what they call “sofa time”, but it just doesn’t exist in my world. if i want to watch tv, i get my Pa to put it in the diary. i watch two hours of television a week.’
Ditto reading a book, going to the gym, having a bath ...
‘i can access the diary on the laptop, but it’s also linked to all our phones.
‘nothing ever happens by