I constantly beat myself up... it’s not a nice way to live my life
ENGLAND WING JONNY MAY ON THE INTENSE PRESSURE HE PUTS ON HIMSELF EVERY DAY TO GET BETTER
JONNY MAY is not quite Gloucester’s Prodigal Son. He is not the sort to wildly waste an experience and there was nothing lavish about his three-year stint at Leicester.
But he is back, here at Hartpury College — the institution he joined as a student — in his old colours reflecting on time away and how it has shaped the May we see today.
For all the perceptions of the England wing — the crazy, mazy runner, the bloke who thought he was a chicken, the post-match singer, the loveably barmy soul — he is, at heart, a thinker.
An over-thinker really. It must be tiring being Jonny May. It seems every second is timed, analysed, every movement planned and prepared for, and every gain (however marginal) strived for.
Talking to him for half an hour there is a sense that he is never at rest. It is as if there is a little figure inside his head constantly tapping on the glass of his mind; reminding, cajoling, urging him to do more.
‘It’s a bit of a double- edged sword as I don’t really switch off,’ May tells Sportsmail. ‘At what point does searching for more, thinking things through, potentially over- thinking become counter-productive?
‘It’s something I’ve become aware of over time — am I doing too much? The challenge is always there. You lie awake at night under pressure to be better than you were the day before.
‘Constantly beating myself up about this, that and the other and demanding more from myself isn’t nice.
‘It’s not a nice way to live your life — but it’s a price I’m willing to pay at the moment as I don’t want to waste a day, a moment, an opportunity or a game.
‘I have become comfortable being uncomfortable, if that makes sense.’
With May using that last phrase — a classic Eddie Jones-ism — you wonder whether that figure in his head is the England head coach.
There is no question that Jones has improved May. Purely looking at his try- scoring record the numbers have gone through the roof. Before Jones, May had scored six tries in 19 Tests, with him it is 23 in 37.
‘Coming across Eddie, he has pushed me incredibly hard,’ says May. ‘Naturally I have always been a late bloomer, though.
‘I was the last to have my growth spurt at school, I didn’t make the county team as a 16-year-old. It generally takes me a bit longer to work things out and find myself.’
Three summers ago May left Gloucester for Leicester, his mind whirring again.
‘I’d just come back from a serious knee injury, got into the England squad, done OK, scored some tries, but at the time all the other wings (Jack Nowell, Anthony Watson, and Elliot Daly) had gone on the Lions tour and I hadn’t,’ he recalls. ‘I thought, “Jeez, I’ve got to do something here or else I’m 27 and I will be left behind”.
‘I felt under serious pressure to do something — hence why it was a bit of a rash decision: “I need to do something now. I need to change things up”.’
While in those three years with England he soared, his career with Leicester never got off the ground. Rather than battling for trophies, the Tigers had to stave off relegation. May left on good terms in April, and insists he is better for the experience, but it was nothing like he dreamt of. ‘It wasn’t what I expected at all,’ he says. ‘I was expecting to go there, win trophies, for it to be a real step up from anything I’ve seen before, to be part of an incredible winning team, Leicester Tigers — historically the best team in the league. I really did think all of those things were going to come together.
‘From what I needed as an individual I got what I needed. I stepped out of my comfort zone, was challenged, played with other England internationals, had to adapt and improve my game, but as a team we struggled. It was a tough few years.’
May felt for his father, Peter, a proud Gloucester fan who loyally followed his son’s career in the East Midlands. ‘ That’s a regret,’ says May. ‘My dad did drive all the way up to Welford Road every weekend, and it was sad as it was a good two and a half hours every weekend for him. When we won, he drove home happy, but that didn’t happen as many times as I would have liked.’
But May has returned. He moved west in lockdown — not to his old house, as he could not face kicking out the tenants, but to a rented one in Cheltenham with his wife — and is home.
Typically, in this strangest of seasons, his second game back at Kingsholm is against Leicester tomorrow.
‘It’s just madness isn’t it?’ May smiles. ‘After the World Cup I looked at this fixture and thought “That would be cool, I’ll go back to Kingsholm with Leicester”.
‘Now — and who would have thought? — I’m at Gloucester playing against Leicester in the same season.’
May feels no extra motivation. In fact, when we speak he is more focused on his dinner (steak and sweet potato) than the forthcoming match.
That minute-by-minute mindset treated him well in lockdown. May was ‘like a bear before hibernation’, spending days conditioning his hip muscles, achilles and hamstrings — all to make sure he was ready for the restart.
‘I know I have joked before about being OCD, but one of my strengths is that I can do the same thing every day,’ he explains. ‘If I need to stretch every day for an hour, or weigh my food, eat this, do that every day, I can do it. I’ve always been disciplined in that way.
‘I thrive in that environment as I’m in complete control of it. I can repeat it forever if I have to.’
Now 30, May is less the cheeky chappy who left Gloucester in 2017 and more the ultimate dedicated professional.
‘As the years have gone on the focus has stepped up a notch and the messing around has stopped,’ he reflects. I don’t want to miss an opportunity.
‘From when I left here I haven’t had a second chance, I was 27 and didn’t have a lifeline on a pay-as-you-go contract.
‘I needed to earn it each week, and that’s certainly something that’s made me increase my focus a lot.
‘It’s my time now to be the best I can be. I just want to see how far I can take it.’
Gloucester v Leicester Tigers, LIVE on BT Sport 1 tomorrow from 4.15pm, kick-off 4.30pm.