Tire him out with a bracing walk!

DOM SAYS:

THANK you very much for your letter — it took courage to write. While it gave me hope, as a 56year-old man, that romance can keep going in one’s latter years, I do understand that one might imagine that at some stage in one’s senior life, that side of things might start to quieten down a little.

But it’s important for me to say that his desire is not your husband’s fault — as a human male he is designed to reproduce right up until he dies. As we all know, the female is not. The menopause puts an end to a woman’s fertility and can, sometimes, see an accompanying loss of desire. Yours is far from the only relationship which has had to weather that particular storm.

I see, from the longer version of your letter, that your plight has been made worse by medical advances such as Viagra, which although sanity- savers for some, are simply prolonging an uncomfortable situation for you. Frankly, this would probably no longer be an issue were a prescription not available!

I really do feel for you both. And you must be careful here, because even after so many years of marriage, rejection is rejection. He’s probably rather proud he’s still managing to give you pleasure at his age.

And that’s the problem — he thinks he’s making you happy, but he isn’t.

My advice is to speak openly about how modern technology can be a hindrance as well as a help, and how, being more of an old fashioned kind of girl, you would, as best as possible, like to remain in the old fashioned way. In other words, it’s time to let nature take its course.

Aside from talking about it openly, I’m not sure how best to proceed. Hide the little blue pills, perhaps? Good for you with your ingenious solution of increasing his time spent on hobbies and at clubs — might I suggest you ask him if he’d like to take up hiking, or bracing walks at the least! A very tired man is rarely in the mood.

I’m being flippant because in your longer letter you say you’re writing with a ‘despairing giggle’, and I’m glad to see you have retained your sense of levity.

But it is a serious issue. rather than think of england, I wonder if you mightn’t lie back and think of yourself. You say you do enjoy it, once you get there, so to speak, so I wonder if you mightn’t perhaps look for ways to increase your own desire.

And don’t forget, your husband is in his ninth decade — in a couple of years, his strength diminished, you might look back longingly on these days.