Dawn: Why mums shouldn’t be friends with daughters
SHE has often spoken of her fractious and turbulent relationship with her adopted daughter.
Now Dawn French has said she thinks the key to a better relationship is not trying to be friends with your children.
The 63-year-old actress adopted Billie Henry, 29, during her 25-year marriage to comedian Sir Lenny Henry, before they split in 2010.
‘Billie is nearly 30 and I feel there is a deepening closeness as we get older,’ she said. ‘But no, I don’t hold with mothers and daughters being friends. That doesn’t exclude being friendly, but I don’t need to be her friend.
‘ There are things daughters withhold from their mothers and run past their peers. I would like to be involved in every aspect of my daughter’s life, but I understand why not. I get it. Although I have to say that quite often I think Mum trumps friend!’
She added: ‘I wouldn’t claim to be the best mum in the world. I am still learning every day. But what I do know is I throw my all at it.’ In 2015 the Vicar of Dibley star said that their relationship ‘exists in a bizarre kind of process of peacetime, small battles, war’.
In May, Miss Henry was given an eight-month jail term, suspended for 12 months, for harassing her ex-boyfriend.
Miss French told Saga magazine that Miss Henry stayed with her and her second husband Mark Bignell – who also has a son and daughter – during lockdown following the court case. She said that while it was a ‘challenge’, they all had their own space then came together for meal times, to watch TV and play games.
Miss French, who recently appeared in ITV comedy drama The Trouble with Maggie Cole, said: ‘Our two daughters were with us; my son lives with his girlfriend… It was lovely to have that time together. Marvellous – and challenging. We made sure everyone had some space, but we came back together for meals, taking it in turns to cook, and to watch funny telly and do jigsaws.’
Miss French, who earlier this month joked that she had ‘gone back to being an entire barrel’ after putting on weight she had previously lost, also said that despite her arthritic knee and worsening eyesight she doesn’t feel old at 63. ‘I might get the grumps about my arthritic knee and my eyesight not being as great as it was, but I’ve got plenty of life in me yet,’ she said.
‘In the mirror, I see my mother turning up on my face, and I am happy to welcome her lines and sags and the rest. I am in the autumn of my life and delighted to be this age.’