It’s bad form — check your finances

DOM SAYS:

WHAT a sad letter to receive. the first thing that springs to my mind is that this is what happens when you read other people’s mail. Firstly, because it’s unspeakably rude and, secondly, because you might not like what you’ll find.

In intercepting his mail you’ve found no evidence he’s being unfaithful — worse than that, you’ve picked the shortest possible straw and discovered that he wants to leave you.

there is the possibility he did this to find out if you are reading his mail. If he has suspected you of snooping, he may have set this up, knowing you will root around in his inbox, read the email, go ballistic and come and talk to him about it.

But I’m sorry to say this does rather look as though it’s real.

It is underhand of him to act like this. I think it’s particularly bad form to talk to his brother about something so private, without talking to you. and what a way to find out — I’m not surprised you’re in turmoil.

I think you have to bite the bullet. You have to talk to him about it. the longer you leave it, the worse it’s going to get.

tell him you’ve seen the email and you’d quite like to know what is going on. ask him if he is serious and point out that, at the very least, he owes you an explanation.

the decent human thing to do is to talk through what is wrong and see if there is any way to solve it. You have only been married for eight years, which isn’t a terribly long time.

Of course people change and attitudes shift but, still, normally you would have some inkling this was on the cards.

Relationships can fall apart for the silliest of reasons and, sometimes, when it breaks, it’s broken. he may have simply fallen out of love with you, not that he’s fallen in love with someone else. It does happen.

Without talking to him, you have no hope of finding out what this is all about. It could be that he is a weak man and this is his way of communicating, which is underhand and unkind. and, if this is what’s going on, it makes me wonder what else he is being underhand about.

So, yes, you absolutely do need to talk to him but, before you do so, I would check your bank accounts. have there been any unexpected transfers to his brother, for example?

Make sure that there is nothing untoward going on in the background. If he is beavering away behind the scenes, then so should you.