We all ought to be more Queen!
Feeling overwhelmed? Gogglebox’s MARY KILLEN – a passionate royal fan – has an uproarious solution
Has this year left t you overwhelmed, , emotional and d occasionally at your r wits’ end? Here’s my y greatest tip for getting through h tough times with dignity. no o matter the dilemma, just ask k yourself: ‘ What would Her r majesty the queen do?’
during our own annus horribilis, s, coronavirus has ravaged lives. The temptation is to wallow in doubt and self-pity, yet the queen, we can be e sure, would do anything but.
Watching her message at the start of lockdown, for my job reviewing Tv on n channel 4’s Gogglebox, I broke down n in tears when she perfectly summed d up a nation’s struggle. ‘We should take e comfort that while we may have e more still to endure, better days will ll return,’ she said.
so I decided to take her as my role e model, and put together a guide to the e life lessons we can all learn from her.
from frugality to hosting a gathering g for six with as much style as a Buckingham k- palace garden party, the answers will help you, in your own quiet way, to become majestic too . . .
LIVE FRUGALLY
WHIle the House of Windsor might hten not seem an obvious budgeting role model, the queen is a proud bargain hunter. as a child, she kept accounts s of her shilling-a-week pocket money.
as an adult, sequins and beads from m her evening dresses are recycled in n new outfits. The queen’s dresser, r, angela kelly, describes how, when n visiting Her majesty’s preferred fabric c shop Joel & son, ‘ while the samples are being cut I always peep into the bargain basket.
‘The queen loves a bargain and sometimes I luck out with a piece of material I can conjure into a dress for her.’
sensibly, the queen has always hated fashion. ‘Oh, poor Britannia, she would have hated being cool!’ she remarked when Tony Blair was peddling the idea.
she vastly prefers to make do and mend.
SET RULES
peOple adore boundaries. Have the confidence to be like the queen and set some for your friends — they will thank you for it.
When you invite someone over, tell them ( as the queen does on party invitations) that they are welcome for something like ‘6 to 8pm’. If you don’t plan to serve food, announce this.
Insist on following the covid rules in your area. When the queen hosts dine-and- sleep events at
Windsor castle, the master of the royal Household also makes it clear that tipping is not expected or desired. nothing makes people more miserable than not knowing how much to tip. lavatories are a primary focus for social embarrassment; and the royals are more like the average family than you might suppose in this arena — sandringham famously has very few en-suite bathrooms.
To prevent awkward encounters, I am told the family has been known to put up a notice saying ‘lavatory under repair’ on the loo they plan on using themselves.
In these hygiene- conscious times, what better way to gently funnel guests away from the family bathroom?
RETAIN MYSTIQUE
mOdern social mores mean everyone is confessing to foibles, perversions and defects — and we’re fascinated by it. But what we really find fascinating are those who have not confessed at all. One reason for our queen’s enduring popularity is she retains her mystique.
do as she does and train yourself to respond pleasantly but brusquely when friends ask how you are. Just reply, ‘really well. and you?’ in a tone that implies you are not in the market for what, in the old days, was called an ‘organ recital’.
It does people no good to wallow in negativity, and it does you no good to be party to their feebleness. The queen and prince philip obviously do have feelings, but they keep them under wraps, even with intimates. michael parker, a close friend of the prince for 60 years, says: ‘philip did not discuss his feelings, at least not with me. I did not know about him and princess e until virtually the day of the engagement.’
STAY DIGNIFIED
rememBer reme how the queen kept h her cool when michael fagan broke into her bedchamber in July 1982? 19 fagan sat on her bed talking talkin to her for ten minutes before help arrived.
It is by no means the only unstately unstat experience the queen has met m with dignity. The first time s she met her sister’s lover roddy llewellyn was on a saturday day evening ev at royal lodge in Windsor Winds Great park. The queen was talking ta to a nanny when mr llewellyn llewel burst in, wearing only a shirt a and underpants.
‘please ‘plea forgive me, ma’am, I look awful,’ awful, he said. ‘ don’t worry, I don’t look too good myself,’ replied the queen.
many man of us would have responded respon to fagan by screaming, ing, to roddy by squirming . . . not Her majesty. m
you can c make a start on queenly dignity by avoiding, as the queen does, being b photographed eating or drinking. drin she knows a woman never appears to her advantage when chewing c or swigging.
for the t advanced student, the queen has also learned to walk down stairs s without looking down at her feet, a technique that requires require some practice.
We can’t c all have dressers — as the royals roy call their ladies’ maids — but you can dress with dignity. royal tips include sewing weights into the th hems of skirts so they don’t blow b up if it’s windy.
MANAGE MAN GUESTS
WHen hosting a party or work meetin meeting, copy the queen to keep all you your guests happy. she is a maste master at making each feel welcom welcome without exhausting herself. self. a at large functions, the queen never sits down (this also means she can ca escape bores easily).
To av avoid hurting any feelings, her lo lord chamberlain asks guests if they have previously met the queen queen, so that he can present them w with this information.
We ca can’t all have a chamberlain, but w when greeting guests the correc correct tactic is to stand at the entry point. p
In this th way, as each person comes in, they will be able to exchan exchange words with you but will then h have to push on into the throng throng, partly because of their natura natural need for refreshments and pa partly because of the pressure of thos those coming in behind them. no on one will ever feel slighted and you w won’t be trapped speaking to one on person all evening.
EAT MODESTLY
IT’s all about moderation. Only modest forkfuls make their way into the queen’s mouth; she chews the foodstuff to a paste and swallows the mixture. Then she speaks. I am told the queen prefers non-fizzy drinks. Indeed, all debutantes in the early part of the 20th century would stir their champagne to make it flat because it was thought (correctly) that fizzy drinks could promote unladylike episodes of burping. WHAT Would HM The Queen Do? by Mary Killen is published by Ebury, £9.99. © Mary Killen 2020. To order a copy for £8.49, go to mailshop.co. uk/books or call 020 3308 9193. Free UK delivery on orders over £15. Offer price valid until October 29, 2020.