Ask CROUCHIE
OUR MAN ON WILDER’S FUTURE, MYSTERY INJURIES... AND PARTYING AS A PARROT
ANOTHER bumper mailbox gives Peter Crouch the chance to remember some Christmases past but there are also a number of burning issues to dissect — including an underappreciated Chelsea star, a Crystal Palace legend and the future of Chris Wilder...
THE 2022 WORLD CUP QUALIFYING DRAW IS TODAY. IS IT TIME FOR US TO STOP BANGING ON ABOUT 1966 OR DO YOU LOVE NOSTALGIA?
Carl Boyle via email THE nostalgia has never bothered me, Carl. We’ve only won it once, so why can’t we talk about it? 1966 is a huge part of our history. I see they are making the final into colour and I am going to have to watch it at some point because I have never sat down and seen the game in its entirety.
A few years ago, I did a corporate night at Wembley for an England game and I was with Sir Geoff Hurst, Peter Shilton, Alan Mullery and John Barnes. When I was introduced to Sir Geoff, the first thing the other boys said was: ‘Has he told you about his hat-trick?’
There is always room for nostalgia but what I would say is it is time we won a major trophy again. For the younger generation of fans who are coming through — and the players — they want their own history and memories. Let’s hope we can put it right.
THINGS ARE LOOKING BLEAK FOR SHEFFIELD UNITED. IS CHRIS WILDER THE RIGHT MAN TO GET US OUT OF TROUBLE?
John Barker via email THE sad thing about this question, John, is that 12 months ago we were talking about Chris Wilder being a contender for jobs at clubs who had just sacked managers. I can remember clearly his name being linked to Arsenal and Everton around this time, because things had started so well.
Sadly, this is the industry we are in and Wilder must live with this scrutiny. He should, at the very least, be given until the end of the season and things can be reassessed then, but it would be so harsh if Sheffield United were to act now.
I felt for Wilder yesterday when Leicester scored at the death. It reminded me of the year Stoke were relegated. You get into this rut where you know, even if you are winning 1-0 or 2-0, it is never going to be enough and, as soon as the opposition pull a goal back, panic sets in.
The table looks desperate at the moment and it is a long way to Fulham in 17th. I still believe they are capable of putting a sequence together that will get them back into the dogfight, but it has to happen immediately. The whole club needs a lift.
WHAT HAVE YOU MADE OF GARETH BALE’S RETURN TO THE PREMIER LEAGUE? CAN HE GET BACK TO THE PLAYER WE KNEW?
Dave Field via Twitter IT WAS unrealistic, Dave, for people to expect Gareth to come back from seven years in Spain and be the turbocharged winger who blew us away. In the years I played with him, I have never seen anyone who had such an engine — up, down, up, down at full pace for 90 minutes. His last two years in Madrid were ruined by Zinedine Zidane effectively cutting him out and that much disruption has an impact on a player finding rhythm. One thing I have noticed is that he is cleverer in terms of how he times his runs
and when he engages top gear. You also have to recognise how good Son Heung-min, Harry Kane and Steven Bergwijn have been for Jose Mourinho. Son and Kane were magnificent on the counter against Arsenal and the more I see them, the more I see genuine title challengers. Gareth will play his part to help, for sure.
AS IT SHOULD BE CHRISTMAS PARTY SEASON, WHAT MEMORIES DO YOU HAVE OF THEM? WHAT WAS THE BEST ONE YOU ATTENDED?
Jacob_Noah_L via Twitter
MAYBe the answer you are looking for, Jacob, is no memory at all! It’s a tradition like no other on these shores, isn’t it, where we let our hair down to such an extent that everything about the party becomes a blur. Fortunately, for your sake, my memory is good, so here you go!
The first one I went to was with QPR’s squad — it was a Tuesday afternoon, as we had Wednesdays off. We ended up piling into town and it was quite an eye-opening experience for a young lad. We’ll leave it there for the sake of diplomacy.
The best ones were at Liverpool and always involved fancy dress. I went as a parrot one year, which ensured I stood out from the crowd.
Perhaps the most memorable, for the wrong reasons, was the year at Spurs when we all went to Dublin. Nothing wrong with that, you might think.
The problem was that Harry Redknapp came out in the media and said he wouldn’t be allowing a Christmas party. He had no idea we had been to Dublin. You can imagine how he reacted when he discovered where we had been!
DO YOU AGREE CLUBS DILUTE THEIR IDENTITY BY WEARING RIDICULOUS CHANGE STRIPS WHEN THEIR NORMAL COLOURS WOULDN’T HAVE CLASHED IN THE FIRST PLACE?
David Edwards via email
I SAW Arsenal play in blue at the emirates last Thursday, David, and I couldn’t get my head around it.
I don’t like calling new stadiums by sponsors’ names and I certainly don’t like seeing swaps like that — if Arsenal are at home, they should be playing in red and white. It’s that simple.
Perhaps I’m not the best person to talk to about fashion these days but I do like tradition in football and I see some clubs wearing away kits now that have no connection with the iconic, simple kits that I knew from my childhood. What is wrong with sticking to tradition?
DID YOU EVER SEE A PLAYER HAPPY TO PICK UP SUSPENSION OVER THE FESTIVE PERIOD OR DEVELOP A MYSTERY INJURY?
Jade Craddock via email
WHAT A question, Jade. Let me phrase it like this for you: I have never heard of a professional footballer who would be so unprofessional to pick up a ban or a fitness problem to coincide with Christmas or a major racing festival. Absolutely not. No sir. It wouldn’t happen…
HOW UNDER-RATED IS OLIVIER GIROUD AND IS IT TRUE YOU WERE AHEAD OF HIM IN THE LIST WHEN CHELSEA SIGNED HIM FROM ARSENAL?
Phil Henney via email
IT’S NoT entirely true, Phil. I remember the rumours about me being linked to Chelsea in January 2018 and I can tell you that they made an enquiry to Stoke about me but there was never a prospect of Stoke letting me leave.
As for Giroud, he has been dreadfully under-rated for years. He is a class act and always has been. You are talking about someone who is second in the all-time goals list for France and when you consider the strikers they have had, what does that say?
He’s been outstanding for Chelsea and always chips in with crucial goals. His touch is outstanding and his awareness is brilliant. of course we get excited about players such as Timo Werner and Hakim Ziyech, but Giroud has a huge part to play for Chelsea. He’s a man in form.
CAN YOU SEE WILFRIED ZAHA PLAYING FOR A CHAMPIONS LEAGUE CLUB AGAIN?
Ash Nelton via email
PoSSIBLY, Ash. He’s definitely got the talent. I was going to say Arsenal would be perfect for him but Arsenal are far away from being a Champions League club at the moment. I doubt he would play regularly at Liverpool or Manchester City but perhaps a club abroad would consider him. The counter to this is that the grass isn’t always greener and I do wonder whether the experience he had at Manchester United burnt him. He’s at a club where he will be idolised for ever and he wouldn’t get that adulation somewhere else. He’s crucial for Crystal Palace — I remember games at Selhurst Park when he was unplayable — and can win games on his own, but I feel he needs to improve in becoming more consistent. Until next time, keep safe and well.