Ephraim Hardcastle
ETON Head Master Simon Henderson rightly considers the brouhaha over teacher Will Knowland’s dismissal of the utmost gravity. But his plight surely pales in comparison to the open student rebellion faced by his 19th century predecessor Dr John Keate. After trying to impose stricter discipline the doors to his Upper House pulpit were nailed shut, requiring him to vault over them to a chorus of boos. Worse: gunpowder was placed in the snuffers, causing an explosion when Keate went to snuff out the candles. Fingers crossed the current pupils are not inspired to follow suit, though details of Dr Keate’s ordeal appear in the current edition of the OEA Review.
PRINCE Charles, marking the tenth anniversary of his Campaign for Wool, launches a £150 luxury scarf. Four years ago he publicised the Dumfries House Wool Conference burying two jumpers in the Clarence House garden, one acrylic and one pure wool, to show how long the man-made stuff lingers, releasing plastic particles. Clearly no one in Parliament was listening. For the second year running the Palace of Westminster shop is selling its gaudy £45 Christmas jumper, labelled 100% acrylic.
CHRISTOPHER Biggins describes Phillip Schofield’s public declaration of homosexuality on ITV’s This Morning as ‘farce’. ‘It was just ridiculous’ says Biggins, insisting that Schofield should have kept the matter to himself. ‘That was a real shock. If my mother had still been alive it would have been terrible for her. She would have been so upset.’ On Friday Biggins records This Morning’s festive pantomime, Cinderella, with Schofield playing Buttons. Should be lots to talk about, Christopher.
THE Queen hasn’t entirely banished Meghan Markle from her thoughts this festive season. Attendees at Masterpieces, the new Queen’s Gallery exhibition of paintings from the Royal Collection, can purchase wedding postcards featuring Meghan, pictured, with Harry. Harder to find but still available are postcards of a grinning Duke of York. HM hasn’t forgotten her favourite son either.
NEITHER Brexit deal commiserations nor congratulations will issue from Oswyn Murray, Boris’s old tutor at Oxford’s Balliol College. Recalling his attendance at a college gaudy last year where Boris was expected, Oswyn tells the Oldie: ‘I’d already sent him a renuntiatio amicitiae (“a renunciation of friendship” – the formal letter emperors send when they want someone to commit suicide or go into exile on the Black Sea). I bought an EU bow tie for my dinner jacket. Fortunately it was just before the election and Boris decided not to come. But I sat between two Brexiteers – so the tie was not wasted.’
CONGRATULATING Stanley Baxter on his Scottish Bafta, his friend John Reid – former manager and boyfriend of Sir Elton John – confirms that he had encouraged him to come out at the age of 94, adding: ‘The intention was for him to receive the accolades and warmth that he deserves while he is still alive.’