OSCAR CAINER

SATURN (representing work and discipline) returns to Aquarius (sign of society and progress) tomorrow. A simple reading suggests we’ll have difficulties contacting friends; but there are deeper meanings, such as the rewriting of rules to make technology the foundation of the workplace, or realising the value of community. This year has taught us not to ignore the obvious. Much can be learned by thinking outside the box today.

ARIES Mar 21 - Apr 20

WHEN we don’t know what the ‘best thing’ is, all we can do is aim for the ‘least bad’ and try our hardest . . . well, that’s what we hope to do. But it’s not always easy. Sometimes, it’s when we think that we’re doing no damage that we wreak the most havoc. There’s a certain kind of self-confidence that stems from a false notion of our self-importance, and another that comes from being humble. As Saturn prepares to change signs, ask questions. The answers will tell you what you need to know. For great news between now and Christmas, call for your latest, spookily accurate forecast: 0906 751 5601.

TAURUS Apr 21 - May 21

ALTHOUGH they say that ‘actions speak louder than words’, some people talk a mighty fine-sounding action. We can make it seem as though we’re doing exactly what needs to be done, and promise whatever everyone wants to feel reassured about. When words talk louder than actions, life becomes very confusing. Your task, as your ruler, Venus, settles into Sagittarius, involves unravelling what’s being said from what’s actually being achieved. This means looking more carefully and listening less. Lift your Christmas spirits. For four minutes of valuable insight guiding you towards the festivities, call 0906 751 5602.

GEMINI May 22 - June 22

WHAT makes the ‘cutting edge’ exciting? Why must we shoot for the stars, rip up the rulebooks and push envelopes further than before? It’s the people who break the mould and dare to be different that find themselves targets for criticism. But when your principles are on the line, is there really another option? You’re made of stern stuff and have what it takes to withstand an impending storm. So, stand your ground. Nail your colours to the mast. And go into battle with confidence and calm. You won’t be ready for Christmas until you’ve heard your latest, in-depth, four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5603.

CANCER June 23 - July 23

ONCE upon a time, a trip to the cinema included a bonus short film that was shown before the main blockbuster. People would sometimes walk in halfway through a screening, make themselves comfortable and watch the second half, then the entirety of the following movie, and then the first half of the one they’d missed. As you try to piece several misaligned bits of information together, it’s not surprising that you’re finding it hard to make sense of what’s unfolding. However, the context you need arrives today. For great news between now and Christmas, call for your latest, spookily accurate forecast: 0906 751 5604.

LEO July 24 - Aug 23

LIKE cars, people can’t travel far without a strong suspension system that helps absorb the bumps and bangs of the road, tempers the twists and turns of the journey and mitigates errors along the way. Yet, while psychological shock absorbers work well, they also prevent us from fully engaging with the world around us. And, sometimes, this means that our lives look as though they’re composed of shades of beige. Today, a complex encounter highlights an exciting development in your plans. Lift your Christmas spirits. For four minutes of valuable insight guiding you towards the festivities, call 0906 751 5605.

VIRGO Aug 24 - Sep 23

WHEN some people look at a furrowed field, they see a barren landscape. Yet to a farmer, it’s a vision of great promise. An artist feels the same way about a blank canvas. And a musician can be inspired by the sound of silence. What you’ve got, at the moment, is the perfect space to create something. You have (or soon will have) the tools and necessary resources. And, you’re about to get the authorisation and the co-operation you need. All that’s missing is the vision . . . and the willingness to get to work. You won’t be ready for Christmas until you’ve heard your latest, in-depth, four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5606.

LIBRA Sep 24 - Oct 23

GOODNESS me! How lovely to see you again. You were here only the other day, weren’t you? Well, let me see if I can guess the reason you’re back. Hold on. An image is coming to me, drawn from the depths of the cosmic ethers. You want your forecast. Of course. Am I right? Wow! This is turning into a prediction within a prediction. Beware of people who dress the blatantly obvious up as exciting new information. As Saturn prepares to change signs, things aren’t as simple as they seem. For great news between now and Christmas, call for your latest, spookily accurate forecast: 0906 751 5607.

SCORPIO Oct 24 - Nov 22

THE brain is like a muscle that must be exercised if it’s to be developed. When it comes to intellectual workouts, you’re a bit of an expert. Your response to a recent challenge has underlined your strengths; when it comes to thinking things through, and innovative ideas, you’re firing on all cylinders. As Saturn prepares to change signs, it brings more indications that, even though you’re not infallible, you’re a very smart cookie. Don’t doubt yourself. Your assessment is spot on. Lift your Christmas spirits. For four minutes of valuable insight guiding you towards the festivities, call 0906 751 5608.

SAGITTARIUS Nov 23 - Dec 21

JUST because a certain person shouts loudly doesn’t mean they’ll win the argument. Even though enthusiasm is contagious, important decisions should always be reached logically. Well, that’s the theory. Yet, in reality, we go straight back to playground mentality when it comes to getting things to go our way. Although, with Saturn about to change signs, you should try your best to be as grown up as you can be. You may find it hard to resist acting like a child. That’s OK. You won’t be ready for Christmas until you’ve heard your latest, in-depth, four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5609.

CAPRICORN Dec 22 - Jan 20

INTELLECTUALS sometimes struggle to parent young children. They find the television shows atrocious . . . and don’t get them started on the adverts; watching them is like torture. It’s lucky that the unconditional love their tiny bundles of energy inspire makes all of this not only bearable but actually enjoyable. In a similar way, there’s only one way to cope with the restrictions you’re being forced to deal with. Be glad of a situation you’ve got to accept. As your ruler changes signs, love really does conquer all. For great news between now and Christmas, call for your latest, spookily accurate forecast: 0906 751 5610.

AQUARIUS Jan 21 - Feb 19

EVERYTHING is going to work out fine. The orange banana has arrived. What do you mean, you don’t know what that is? Surely, it’s enough to know that it’s here? Doesn’t that give you the reassurance you need? Does every piece of good news need to be scrutinised and logical? What’s wrong with embracing an optimistic idea, even if it doesn’t make sense? Although your suspicions are raised, as Saturn moves into your sign, the solution to your problem seems bewildering, but it’s safe to trust it. Lift your Christmas spirits. For four minutes of valuable insight guiding you towards the festivities, call 0906 751 5611.

PISCES Feb 20 - Mar 20

LIARS aren’t the only people who can’t be relied on to tell the truth. Some folk have no idea that what they’re saying is incorrect. They may be in denial, or they may be programmed to see only the things that support their belief. Confronting them won’t get you very far. Even people who knowingly distort the truth won’t respond well to that kind of approach. Be as co-operative and compliant as you can be. But not so much that you lose your own grip on what’s really going on. You won’t be ready for Christmas until you’ve heard your latest, in-depth, four-minute forecast. Call 0906 751 5612.

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