Why Harry and Meg are the new Smashie and Nicey ( )
Shame it’s not all for charidee
the meantime, H & M promise the usual guff; talking to ‘amazing people,’ sharing memories that have ‘helped shape’ 2020 and — says Harry — ‘connecting through the pain and endless acts of compassion and kindness’.
Wot? The poor little prince’s Californication seems almost complete. ‘It’s free, all you have to do is click right here, go ahead,’ he beseeches on the audio clip; this man who is the son of a royal house in Europe, now little better than a Malibu disc jockey urging you to book him for your next pool party. Altogether now, cringe.
But hold it right there. I don’t always want to sound like a great aunt screeching with horror and clutching my cultured pearls every time Harry and Meghan try something new. And Christmas is almost upon us, so please bear with me while I try to be positive instead. A podcast, you say? How marvellous! It is certainly something that will appeal to the Sussexes’ younger fan base, who still find the couple relatable and interesting, despite everything. And it is important to acknowledge that people cannot complain about the Sussexes taking money from the Sovereign Grant then continue to complain when they try to make money of their own. Or can they?
My problem — that was a short amnesty — is that very little Harry and Meghan do could be described as proper work or honest effort, something dependent on talent or skill. It’s all just preachy pie in the sententious sky.
Nothing is real. Everything is an opportunity to trade in on the royal connections they once found so onerous — but now realise that without them they would be nothing. Companies such as Spotify and Netflix would certainly not be recruiting the couple for roles they are neither experienced enough nor qualified for — and furthermore, haven’t earned the moral authority to undertake. Whoops! There I go again.
But it’s not just me. Will those who disagree with these views — or indeed anyone five years down the line — really want to tune in regularly to listen to the Sussexes and hear their latest freshly baked views? These empty words from privileged kids which, under closer examination, are almost entirely meaningless.
For example, Meghan says: ‘One of the things my husband and I have always talked about is my passion for meeting people and hearing their stories.’ A passion for meeting people? Very nice I am sure, even though it doesn’t seem to include her own father.
ANYWAY, what with this and the vegan superlatte coffee company investment made by Meghan —which her good friend Oprah then plugged online to her 19 million followers — we are entering new Sussex territory.
From now on, it will become increasingly hard to match up their ‘we were bullied out of the Royal Family’ rhetoric with the launching of these highly professional operations which ultimately profit from their royal fame and titles.
‘But we literally are the world’s most caring celebrities, so tune in to our humongously megatastic holiday special coming soon,’ said the couple. Meghan and Harry or Smashie and Nicey? Already it is hard to tell.