Extraordinary LIVES
I MET Ruth in 1994 when I was a soldier in the Royal Artillery, stationed in Dortmund, Germany. I went to a bingo evening at the Army base; Ruth lived locally and had come with a friend. I bought her a drink and we got along really well. She was a divorcee, aged 42, with a 14-year-old son, Andreas, and I was only 26. She later told me she fell in love with me at first sight. It took me only a little longer. We married a year later. Friends told me the marriage would never work because of the age gap. Even my commanding officer tried to talk me out of it, saying I’d live to regret it. But we proved them all wrong. Soon after we married, I was posted to the Army base in Gutersloh and we moved into married quarters. Over the following years there were postings back and forth between Germany and England, during which I was promoted to lance corporal and then sergeant. Ruth got a Jack Russell called Bobby to keep her company while I was serving in Kosovo, Iraq, Cyprus and the Falklands. When I left the Army after 18 years, we settled in Didcot, Oxfordshire.
There we had a garden and could finally plant the apple tree we’d carried around with us in a pot, taken from Ruth’s father’s garden in Dortmund. It was a link with her remarkable dad. A Wehrmacht soldier in World War II, he’d been captured by the Russians and put on a train to Siberia. He escaped by loosening the floorboards of the railway wagon. Luckily, after the war he was in the British zone of occupation. Bingo brought us together and Ruth and I enjoyed playing the game in Didcot. The rollover prize that keeps gaining in value is known as a snowball — as our relationship only got better with time, Ruth called me her snowball. She loved visiting the seaside. A few times a year we’d stay in a caravan park at Doniford Bay in Somerset, which we called our happy place. Last year, we celebrated 25 years together there. Ruth was a private person and not one for joining organisations. But she embraced the British way of life and was a popular member of the local community. Everyone who knew her was aware of her kindness, generosity and willingness to help. She was a great supporter of charities, including Age UK and Cancer Research. As a former Army wife, she was dedicated to the Royal British Legion. This spring, she sadly lost her battle with cancer. I will scatter her ashes in Doniford Bay when the pandemic restrictions allow for her son, Andreas, to come from Germany and her best friend, Susanna, to join us.
■ RUTH STEVENSON, born January 20, 1952; died April 3, 2020, aged 68.