How to make marriage sparkle: Do the dishes!

AN expensive piece of jewellery or a weekend break might seem like a safe bet to please your partner.

But the real secret to a happy marriage could be doing the dishes for them – without having to be nagged into it.

Men or women who voluntarily do things to benefit their partner – such as the washing up – not only have stronger relationships but also feel better about themselves for doing so, a study revealed.

Previous research has shown rows over washing up are a major source of conflict between couples. Women who do most of it reported more arguments, less relationship satisfaction and worse sex than those whose partners did more.

The study from Wake Forest University in the US found a direct link between ‘prosocial behaviour’ – such as putting partners’ desires ahead of our own – and closeness and self-esteem.

Psychologists screened 120 adults aged 19 to 62 for levels of self-esteem and relationship satisfaction, then asked them to spend a week making more ‘partner-satisfying decisions’ such as doing the dishes or scrapping trips to the pub to spend more time in loved ones’ company.

The results, published in the journal Personal Relationships, revealed just a few days of self-sacrifice not only brought couples closer together but boosted volunteers’ psychological wellbeing.

The researchers said acting in others’ best interests ‘has even been linked to a lower mortality rate in older adults’.