CHRISTMAS QUIZ
1. Which comment greeted High Class Baby, Cliff Richard’s first attempt at a Christmas No 1 in 1958? A. ‘The poor man’s Wee Willie Harris [New Musical Express].’ B. ‘Not so much Elvis the Pelvis as Cliff the Stiff [Record Mirror].’ C. ‘Set my teeth aching with a voice that sounds as though it’s been filtered through tinfoil [Picturegoer].’ 2. What was unusual about the world record-breaking Largest Gathering of Santas in Newtown, Mid-Wales in 2004? A. Fourteen were disqualified for not wearing trousers. B. Police had to use CS spray and batons to break up a brawl. involving 30 drunken Santas C. It was the first time it was a unisex event. 3. What photos featured among the Beckhams’ Instagram record of their 2018 Christmas? A. Victoria trying to teach the Hokey Cokey to her pet dog. B. Cruz doing the Grease karaoke with cousin Tallulah C. A pouting David posing shirtless in ‘Uncle Elton’s’ tinsel-wrapped specs 4. Which of the following Christmas gift recommendations is not genuine? A. ‘Gents’ luminous walking sticks and Balaclava helmets [Daily Telegraph 1939].’
B. ‘A gay gilt-finished ornamental dustcart holding cigarettes and matches with a lid set with sparkling stones [Tit-Bits 1960].’ C. ‘A handmade, hand-painted and very collectable Weeping Gazza teapot [House Beautiful 1990].’ 5. The 1986 Christmas edition of New Scientist reported on which new product? A. Powdered urine for potentially embarrassing drug tests (just add water). B. A microwave fridge for quick-chilling beer. C. A voice-controlled laxative. 6. In Punch’s 1971 Christmas edition, what did Michael Parkinson reveal as a potential tactic to cope with an audience becoming restless? A. Pour Oliver Reed and George Best out of the Green Room. B. Threaten to have the talk show’s musical director, Harry Stoneham, play a medley of Freddie & The Dreamers hits. C. Give them a quick burst of Marching Through Georgia on the spoons while pulling flags out of his guest’s trousers. 7. What did Kaiser Wilhelm II send German frontline troops to bolster their morale at Christmas 1914? A. Packs containing schnapps, knackwurst and louse powder. B. Christmas trees. C. Mince pies and crackers. 8. Which of the following festive suggestions, complete with detailed step-by-step instructions, is bogus? A. ‘ Make your own Stuff ’n’ Sew Santa [Family Circle, 1984].’ B. ‘Make your own Mechanical Christmas Tree [Hobbies Weekly, 1966].’ C. ‘Make Your Own Party Petticoat Panties [Reveille, 1952].’ 9. Which of these is the genuine tip on How To Make Your Festive Party Go With A Bang? A. ‘Three rugged boys miming to a Beverley Sisters record can be a riot [Boy’s Own Paper, 1960].’ B. ‘Slip a bottle or two of vodka into the fruit cup but don’t tell the popsies [Men Only, 1953].’ C. ‘Swish hairdo, snazzy dress, slosh on the perfume and head for the kissable talent (Jackie magazine, 1963).’ 10. What activated the fire alarm in Weymouth’s Sea Life Centre on Boxing Day 2006? A. The flatulence of one of its turtles after a Christmas treat of Brussels sprouts. B. A spark from a lighter in the babychanging facilities. C. One of its electric eels fused. 11. In 1952, why did the Catholic Archdiocese of Boston publicly condemn 13-year-old Jimmy Boyd’s hit record I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? A. Because it mixed sex with Christmas. B. Because of the implied extra-marital relationship between a saint and a married woman C. Because it could encourage further breaches of the Seventh Commandment. 12. What prompted a Strictly Come Dancing judge to exclaim, ‘It’s a Christmas miracle!’? A. Ann Widdecombe’s ‘seriously sensual salsa’. B. Judy Murray’s ‘surprisingly not-totally-stiff rendition of a charleston’. C. A Peter Crouch/Dawn French ‘vertically-challenging tango’. 13. On what grounds did Ofcom reject 66 complaints about the 2004 Vicar of Dibley Christmas Special ( starring Dawn French, pictured)? A. Christmas is not a day for whingeing. B. Its classic Carry Onstyle farce doesn’t denigrate the Christian faith. C. It is BBC sitcom policy not to discriminate on the grounds of race, creed, size or quality.