Ephraim Hardcastle
CHINESE ambassador Liu Xiaoming’s departure comes ten months after he entertained the recently demoted Prince Andrew at a Chinese New Year event when he delivered a private message from the Queen about the newly emerging coronavirus in China. There was speculation that Andrew had persuaded his mother to send the missive, for him to deliver, showing he retained some status. Liu indiscreetly released the text, embarrassing HM. She was not amused.
PRINCE William might query Michael Sheen’s claim that becoming Prince of Wales would be a ‘humiliation’ for the principality. Made patron of the Welsh Rugby Union in 2007, he regularly attends matches in Cardiff and enjoys teasing cousin Zara’s ex-England international hubby Mike Tindall, who says: ‘Every time Wales win… he’s straight on the phone to me.’
NOMINATING the late Daniel Massey as her best theatrical kisser, Dame Judi Dench reveals a smooch of a different sort when she gave the kiss of life to her grandson Sam’s dying goldfish ScoobyDoo. ‘I gently blew into its mouth and it survived,’ she recalls. ‘We quickly renamed it Lazarus.’
EX-BOND girl Gemma Arterton, pictured, regrets her role as Strawberry Fields, seduced by Daniel Craig in 2008’s Quantum Of Solace, explaining: ‘As I got older I realised there was so much wrong with Bond women. Strawberry should have just said no, really, and worn flat shoes.’ Yet in 2015 Gemma publicly hailed Bond boss Barbara Broccoli as ‘one of the biggest feminists I know’. Change of tune?
ESTHER Rantzen takes issue with Nigella, Prue and other stars of food programmes, warning: ‘Their shows have been crammed with close-up shots of butter, chocolate, sugar, salt and cream. Given the Government’s concern about obesity, Ofcom should insist that cookery programmes include the calorie count of every ingredient and recipe.’ After kiddies and OAP champ Esther’s Childline and Silver Line, shouldn’t she launch Fatline?
RECOVERING alcoholic Susannah Constantine seems to be seeking boozy solace in brandy butter, telling a podcast: ‘I have to say Christmas lunch would be my last meal on death row. It’s the one time I can drink alcohol now, in the brandy butter, so I literally take a huge great big tub and pour it down my throat.’ Cheers?
WHEN Desmond ‘The Naked Ape’ Morris fronted ITV’s Zoo Time – rival to David Attenborough’s Zoo Quest on the BBC – bosses tried to ban them from meeting. ‘We’ve been close ever since,’ says Desmond, 93 in January. He asked David: ‘Why are we both still here in our nineties?’, answering: ‘Because we’ve never eaten health foods, gone on a diet, been to a gymnasium, jogged or exercised.’