The Doktor’s on a drum roll
QUESTION Rock band The Sisters Of Mercy’s famous drum machine is called Doktor Avalanche. Is it the same one they started with?
The Sisters Of Mercy were one of the best Goth bands of the 1980s and early 1990s, best remembered for cadaverous frontman Andrew eldritch, Top Ten album Floodland, brilliant single This Corrosion and their unique band member — Doktor Avalanche.
Though the only constant member of the band with eldritch, Doktor Avalanche has been through many incarnations.
The band formed in Leeds in 1980 with eldritch on drums, but he soon recognised he wasn’t good enough. he bought a BOSS DR-55 Doctor Rhythm drum machine, renamed Doktor Avalanche due to its cascading rhythms.
It was replaced by a series of Roland machines: the TR-606 Drumatix, TR-808 Rhythm Composer and TR-909 Cloud. For debut album First And Last And Always, the Doktor was an Oberheim DMX, a classic machine memorably used on New Order’s 1983 hit Blue Monday.
The album’s success meant the Doktor could be upgraded to a Yamaha RX5, the machine favoured by INXS, XTC, The Pet Shop Boys and A-ha.
This was a major transformation, for Doktor Avalanche had become a drum sampler. A drum machine is an electronic device that generates percussion sounds that you play using touch-sensitive pads, but a sampler is an electronic device that records, alters and plays back digital audio. You can distribute the sounds across a musical keyboard or play them automatically.
It was during this time that eldritch was briefly joined by bassist Patricia Morrison and the band bought their most important sampler, the Akai S900, used to record most of Floodland, though they used an Akai S1000 on stage.
The first digital Doktor appeared in the form of a set of Compaq portable PCs. In recent years, the Digital Doktor has been moved to a custom-built laptop. Modern technology means eldritch can access historic samples for an authentic sound.
QUESTION How has having the same name as a famous person affected your life?
BeING called Barry White has certainly led to some amusing situations. These mostly entail good-natured banter and the endless request: ‘Give us a song!’
It always happens when I have to give my full name or sign a document. Over the years this has become a bit boring, so it was with foreboding that I approached the receptionist at a garage to sign for work they had done to my car.
After years of hearing the same old comments, I’ve developed a method of dealing with these situations.
So as I signed the documents, I said to the young lady behind the desk: ‘Don’t bother asking me to sing because I don’t do requests.’
After checking my signature on the form, she replied: ‘That’s all right, Barry, I know what you mean — my name’s Tina Turner!’
Barry White, Malvern, Worcs. BeING called Michael Douglas, if I had a pound for every time someone asked ‘how is Catherine?’ I’d be rich. I always say my wife is far more beautiful.
I was being driven to work one morning by my friend and colleague when he was pulled over by the police for speeding.
‘What’s your name?’ asked the officer — to which my friend truthfully replied: ‘Noel Coward.’ ‘OK, and what’s your name?’ the officer asked me. ‘Michael Douglas,’ I told him. ‘Clear off! (or words to that effect)!’ he said, and he sent us on our way without a speeding charge.
Michael Douglas, Guildford, Surrey.
QUESTION What are the most depressing Yuletide songs?
FuRTheR to the earlier answer, in many cases these dour Christmas songs are so depressing that they’re funny.
One example is emmy The Great and Tim Wheeler with (Don’t Call Me) Mrs Christmas: ‘You promised me paradise, but all I got was snow and ice.’ Over a cheery tune, Mrs Claus laments being left alone at Christmas again.
I’m Gonna Get Well Away by The Piranhas has: ‘Nothing makes me more miserable than
too much Christmas cheer The only good thing about Christmas is it only happens once a year.’ ‘Boring’ Bob Grover goes off to the pub rather than suffer a family Christmas.
Dead Dead Dead by Juan Schwartz (aka South Park co-creator Trey Parker) has: ‘So look long at that Christmas tree, It may be the last one that you see Decorate your house in green and red Cause some day you’ll be dead.’
he sings about appreciating your life and family because you never know what may happen tomorrow.
The humdrum express song The Day After Boxing Day has: ‘I smiled and greeted the family as they
arrived on Christmas Eve. Three days later they’re still here, can’t get the freeloaders to leave.’ Spitting Image entertained us with Santa Claus Is On The Dole: ‘The reindeer have been sold for glue, you might as well be naughty.’
The premise is that Santa has been made redundant because giving away gifts doesn’t please the taxman.
The Long Blondes song Christmas Is Cancelled has: ‘Oh no, don’t worry about me. I’ll just have fish and chips for tea. I’ll watch the Queen and go to sleep.’
After a broken relationship, Christmas alone isn’t fun.
James Spriggs, Cannock, Staffs. IS THERE a question to which you want to know the answer? Or do you know the answer to a question here? Write to: Charles Legge, Answers To Correspondents, Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT; or email charles.legge@dailymail.co.uk. A selection is published, but we’re unable to enter into individual correspondence.
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