IS YOUR DATING STYLE THE PROBLEM?
MAnY of my clients suffer from dating blind spots — internal struggles holding them back from finding love, that they can’t identify on their own.
I’ve identified the Three dating Tendencies, which sum up common problems plaguing modern daters — and this quiz is to help you understand what’s holding you back. read each statement below, decide how much it describes you, then give yourself marks according to your answer: 1= very unlike me 2= somewhat like me 3= That’s so me 1. I dOn’T want to go on a second date if I don’t feel the spark when we meet. 2. WHEn I’m on a date, I might ask myself: ‘Is this person up to my standards?’ 3. I’LL be ready to date when I improve myself (for example, lose weight or feel more financially stable). 4. I’d prEfEr it if my partner and I had a romantic ‘how we met’ story. 5. I usuALLY read reviews before I make a significant purchase. 6. I dOn’T have time to date just now. 7. THErE’s someone out there who’s ideal for me, I just haven’t met them yet. 8. WHEn making a decision I go back and forth, weighing all the possible options. 9. MY frIEnds tell me I need to put myself out there more. 10. I fInd online dating apps unromantic because I want to meet my person in a more natural way. 11. I prIdE myself on never settling. 12. I rArELY go on dates. 13. I dOn’T believe the spark can grow over time. Either you feel it or you don’t. 14. I’LL know I’ve met the right person because I’ll feel totally sure about them. 15. If I want to attract the best possible person, first I need to become the best possible person. 16. LOvE is a gut feeling. You know it when you feel it. 17. MY frIEnds think I’m too picky. 18. I’M fOcusInG on my career now and I’ll think about dating later.
SCORING KEY
THE ROMANTICISER: Add up your scores for every third question, starting with Q1 (sum of answers to questions 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 16). THE MAXIMISER: Add up your scores for every third question, starting with Q2 (sum of answers to questions 2, 5, 8, 11, 14, 17). THE HESITATER: Add up your scores for every third question, starting with Q3 (sum of answers to questions 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18). On WHIcH one did you score the highest? That’s your dating tendency. Although they seem quite different, the romanticiser, the Maximiser and the Hesitater have one thing in common: unrealistic expectations.
The romanticiser has unrealistic expectations of relationships. The Maximiser has unrealistic expectations of their partner. The Hesitater has unrealistic expectations of themself. THE ROMANTICISER: You want the soulmate, the happily ever after, the fairytale. You believe you are single because you haven’t met the right person yet. But if you think love is something that just happens to you, why would you bother to put any effort into finding it? romanticisers wait for love instead of creating it. so stop passively yearning for a disney prince and develop a more practical mindset. THE MAXIMISER: You want to explore all the options until you’re sure you’ve found The One — but approaching love in this way leads to anxiety and missed opportunities.
Maximisers are afraid of settling and always wonder if they could be happier with someone else. But you can’t research your way into a relationship, and you can’t date everyone and then decide. Your challenge is to find someone special, invest in the relationship, and trust your brain. THE HESITATER: You don’t think you’re ready for dating because you’re not the person you want to be yet. But if you’re not dating, you’re losing the chance to learn — about what kind of person you want to be with long-term and how to improve your dating skills. don’t wait, date! Take new profile pictures, download the apps and understand that no one is perfect, including the person you’ll wind up with.