The virus is killing our empathy
IT SEEMS to be becoming harder and harder for people to be kind and tolerant as we all struggle with the utterly depressing reality of life in Lockdown Britain.
I’ve been very disturbed by a mean-spirited willingness to judge others and call them names — with no knowledge of what private heartaches may afflict them. (For example, see today’s second letter). I’ve personally encountered unnecessary nastiness and worry that the issue is damaging many family relationships.
The anger is fuelled by fear, but also by self-righteousness and an unwillingness to try to understand that the lives of others may be more complicated than our own.
I had a polite letter from Mrs T asking if I had ‘obeyed the rules’ at Christmas. Well, they altered, didn’t they — from six people to three households and then only for Tiers 1 to 3? Rules change; no wonder people feel confused and/or fed up.
Mrs T continued: ‘I get the impression, although you are looking forward to a vaccine, you are not entirely convinced Government policy is correct... I wonder if you refuse to be judge and jury to us because you are not complying yourself?’
No, I refuse to judge because I do not think I have the right. Yes, the new strain of the virus is a game-changer and, yes, we must obey lockdown rules as far as we can. And so I do. But how can I ‘stay home’ when I drive five miles to look after my mother, while my father’s nursing home is five miles in the opposite direction?
People are making tough decisions and often live in places where they need to get out. It is imperative that we do not let this virus destroy our empathy.
I have heard from people in their 80s, desperately alone, whose ‘caring’ adult children refused to spend Christmas Day with them (even though it was allowed) because they were ‘protecting’ the old.
But the elderly ladies longed for company. So were those children caring — or cruel? Is it right to lock down on love?
BEL answers readers’ questions on emotional and relationship problems each week. Write to Bel Mooney, Daily Mail, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT, or email bel.mooney@dailymail.co. uk. Names are changed to protect identities. Bel reads all letters but regrets she cannot enter into personal correspondence.